Vgia Tharzhini

Hinduism in my eyes.

2011-11-28T14:14:00.000+11:00

Disclaimer: Thought about it, typed it out. Problem?

I like to think of Hinduism as a way of life, not simply a religion. The Hindu scriptures and our traditions cover everything from philosophy, spirituality, medicine, astronomy, the sciences and even mathematics!!

Hinduism and Science
I've never given it much thought, but now that I have, it seems unbelievable that almost all of the greatest discoveries of modern science were initially not accepted by the Catholic Church, whereas they were already documented in Hindu scriptures centuries ago. Detailed examples

And all the hype and controversy that surrounds the Darwinian theory does not apply to Hinduism. Sages have accepted that life is an eternal cycle of evolution. Scriptures document the existence of Vanaras (ape-men)and even suggest that they existed alongside human beings. And today, I have discovered that the first few avatars of Vishnu coincide with the first few lifeforms to have appeared on earth.

Hinduism and polytheism
And for anyone who thinks Hinduism is all about polytheism, and revolves around epics and myths; Hinduism accepts only one Supreme God. The many facets of this eternal being is represented by different deities and demigods.

Take for example the Navagrahas : The 9 planets (actually there are 7 excluding earth, the other 2 are merely points in space at which sun and moon eclipses occur) are represented by demigods and are worshiped as they have an influence on our well being.
P.S: YES, years before modern science discovered Pluto and then dismissed it as not being a planet, we Hindus already knew there were only 8 planets. Food for thought.

Hinduism and Astrology
Even practicing Hindus today view astrology as religion. Personally, I have always believed it to be a field of science. It involves detailed calculations of astronomical movements and can accurately calculate the occurrences of eclipses, and other astronomical phenomenon.When it is a proven fact that astrology accurately predicts phenomenon miles away from Earth, why is it so hard to believe that it also calculates events in an individual's life?

In fact, my personal star sign says I have a slight gap in between my two front teeth. Which is true. How do you not believe in that?

Just another day =)

2011-11-18T19:41:00.000+11:00

7am: pretend to wake up.
7.01am: set another alarm for 7.05am
7.05am: click snooze
7.10am: drag myself out of bed.

8am: leave house, walk to uni.
9am: sit for Combinatorial Probability final exam.
12.10am: Sigh with relief that aforementioned shit is over.
12.11am: Eternal bliss at realizing I finished that subject. (regardless of how I did the paper). Head off for lunch.
1.30pm: reach home, read one chapter of a novel
2pm: decide to take a nap.
approx. 2.30pm: actually fall asleep

3.30pm: wake up, get ready, head out the door
4pm: In Eastwood. Shopping!!!!!!! (with girl friends, of course la. think I so desperate wanna go alone ah?)
5.30ish: Tired liao. Coffee break and chat, chat, chat.
6.30ish: reach home (with 1 pair of shoes (OMG only $15) , perfume gift set for dad, perfume for mum and 1 for me as a reward(OMG elizabeth arden for $13) =P)

7.00ish: Shower. Super looooong, refreshing, well deserved shower.

P.S: I have another paper tomorrow. But relative to the one I just finished, tomorrow's paper is easy peasy. Procrastination is a harsh word. I prefer to call it me time. Studying can wait.

So go away, I'm spending time with myself.

How to not care about what judgmental people think

2011-11-10T00:19:00.000+11:00

Think about why others might be judging you. What must their lives be like? Are they envious of you or even attracted to you? They might just have taken a dislike to you. Never mind these people - get them completely out of your life.

Observe the people that are measuring your actions - don't be afraid to look someone in the eye. Note how ridiculous what they are doing actually is - why are they acting like that? Realise that if you are "worthless" then they are as equally nugatory as well.

Even if people believe that you actually care what they think about you, you must still choose not to care.

Try the "And" trick. When someone insults you or says something like they're better than you, just look at them blankly and say "And?" Keep repeating this every time they answer until they shut up.

Recognize it's their problem no matter what the situation. Their judgments reflect their own lack of self-esteem. Distance yourself from their destructive behavior by realizing you haven't done anything wrong.
I don't care what you think. When you have the last word of an argument, it's not because I lost the argument. It's because I have come to realise that you are an absolute waste of my time. So go ahead. Watch my every move and analyze them. Spend your spare time forming up sarcastic comments in that stinky little head of yours. It doesn't make a difference to me. I'll just be chuckling silently at how silly you are.

I turned 20 today.

2011-10-18T00:50:00.000+11:00

Lots of happiness, lots of smiles. But behind all that, I'm holding back lots of tears and lots of sorrow. Some of which I don't even know the reason behind them. And some of which arise from the frustration that I can never really show my true feelings. At points when I'm too tired to fake smiles anymore, I'm forced to keep at it. And it's too much to handle. Some tears just need to flow out.
And who else will I talk to? How can you not understand?? What am I supposed to do if you expect me to fake smiles for you too?

I appreciate all the effort, and I feel truly blessed to be surrounded by souls who care for me. I love you all lots. More than I can ever put into words. But I have the right to sulk if I want to. I have the right to let my eyes droop if they feel like it.

I turned 20 today. And it's no different from any other day. I'm just as miserable as I was yesterday. Thanks so much for trying your best to make it happy <3

Malaysia Fest 2011

2011-10-09T20:51:00.000+11:00

Today was tiring and very disorganized. I didn't get to do the things I planned to. The entire program flow kept changing, and at one point it seemed to me that they were simply making things up as the event progressed.

I'm super annoyed, but if someone is to be blamed, it's me. Granted I didn't sign up for the mess it turned out to be, I could have made the choice of being a bystander. I could have gone there, watched the performances, sampled the food and came home feeling happy and content.

But no. I chose to get my nose into everything. And to top it all of, I had to break into my own house today.

Regardless of how much I regret this today, at the back of my head, I know that I will never learn. I will never stop being the crazy person I am. I will never stop being me.

Things are never as they seem

2011-10-02T00:04:00.000+10:00

I wish I could tell you how things are, and how I feel. I wish I didn't have to put up a brave front all the time. But I know that the only difference that will make is that instead of just me, we'll both be worried. I wish I could close my eyes, and when I opened them again, I'd be home. I wish I could go to the temple anytime I wanted. I wish I could know for sure what God has planned for me. I wish I had you around to reassure me, to pat my back and tell me it's okay. I wish I could just let the tears flow, without having to think about what people will say. I wish I could just be a carefree uni student. I wish the only thing I needed to worry about was my studies.

If anything, my experience here in Sydney has taught me that things are never as they seem. We smile, we laugh, we scrape through. But what goes on behind the scenes, nobody knows, nobody cares. And it hurts. It hurts that I have to keep my troubles to myself. It hurts that I don't have any choice. It hurts that there's nothing I can do about my troubles.

But it is this pain, this suffering, this struggle that makes the happy moments so blissful. When you fall over laughing at a joke. When you get a compliment on how hard you work. When someone tells you "You're so fun to be around". When you come home at the end of a long day to a warm room with a comfy bed.

I look at people differently now. I try not to judge. I try to picture what life must be like for them, behind the smiles plastered on their face. I try to pay attention to the things they never say.

Seizing opportunities

2011-09-25T01:04:00.000+10:00

I can't stress enough how important this is and has been for me personally. I'm well aware of the fact that I'm crazy. When I have a lot to do, I do some more.

But I know that at the end of the day, I'll come out of the experience as a better person, and I know that I won't regret my decisions in hindsight. I may be random, but underneath all these nonsense is a Vijeya that makes sense, a lot of sense.

Be it dancing, networking or expressing my ideas, I do the things I do because I know that if I don't, I'll never stop thinking about how things could have been.

To be inspired.

2011-09-18T23:15:00.000+10:00

Have you inspired me? When have you not?

I am who I am, and where I am for a reason. I have purposes I'm trying to achieve, dreams I want to accomplish. I want to make my parents and sister proud of me. I want to show all the people who doubted me that I'm more than they'll ever be. I've always made it a point to blog when I've made a resolution, or a decision, or when I doubt myself. So that one day I can dig up my archives and see how far I've come, and also what I didn't get done.

2010
All the awesome stuff I got involved in during my time in INTI International University

January 4
For now, I have a new list of resolutions for 2011 and for my new beginning abroad. Let's overlook the fact that I'm probably not gonna get to half of em shall we? ;P
Resolution number 2 : Jump into clubs and societies ASAP. I lost too many valuable experiences here.

April 13
So, tomorrow (and all the days that come after), I'm going to show the world who I am and what I'm capable off. Watch out world, coz here comes Vijeyatharzhini Bathmanathan! And the list of things she can do is longer than her name! =)

June 5
It gets me thinking. Have my achievements overshadowed my past (that I really am not proud of)? Something tells me I still have a long way to go before I can truly believe that statement.

August 3
With this new found sense of pride and confidence, I'm going to totally own this semester. Watch me =)

September 18
I'm right on track, and I know exactly what I want. I've known it since the morning of my pre-departure briefing back in INTI. So yes, I'm inspired. Have been for 9 months now.

'Nose to the grindstone' time

2011-09-12T15:48:00.000+10:00

OMG look what I found on my horoscope. It's a sign from God!!! *freaks out*

2011 is a Number Four year for you. Ruled by Uranus. This is a year of work and development. It’s "nose to the grindstone" time. It’s a time to deal with practical matters, and it’s not a time to be lazy or especially gregarious. In some cases, it can be a year that feels hard, monotonous and routine, and/or lonely. Positive new significant relationships are generally not formed in a Four personal year. Advice – get yourself organized, work to build your resources, keep busy.

A girl's best friend...

2011-09-12T15:40:00.000+10:00

As far as I can remember, I've always had a best friend when I was growing up. They've changed throughout the years, and some of my best friends from childhood have now been reduced to distant memories. My best friends have taught me that people change, and more importantly, I have changed. And most probably, I will change in future as well.

I also remember times when I didn't know who my best friend was. Times when I had to pick, and I simply couldn't. And as I grew up, my best friends taught me another one of life's most important facts. You can't pick the best among your friends. The best friend of all, is the one who's with you at the moment.

Whether she's miles away in a different time zone, or in the next room. My best friend is the one who's with me when I need her to be. The one who'll listen when I have something to say. The one who makes me feel important by telling me what's troubling her. The one who asks for advice, and the one who gives me advice when she knows I need it.

Friendship is unlike any other relationship. You don't always know where it's going, and you never know for sure if it will stay the same. But I've learnt that it doesn't matter. We don't have to grow old together, or even keep in touch for the next few years. You were my best friend once, and in my memory, that's who you'll always be =)

Me time

2011-09-10T14:01:00.000+10:00

Sometimes, when we get too busy, we just have to make some me time. We may have other things to do, but none is more important. I have 2 tests on Monday, a quiz on Friday, and a Mid Sem test on Saturday. Add into that mess the weekly tutorials. Yes, I have a lot to do, but right now, I'm gonna go paint my nails. Have a nice weekend!!!!

P.S: If you don't, just be thankful that you don't have mine.

Deepavali!!!!!

2011-09-09T17:19:00.000+10:00

This is my blog. It's meant to be for me to babble about what's on my mind. And THIS is what's on my mind.

Why am I fussing over Deepavali? I guess I need something to look forward to. Life isn't easy, especially not now.. But then again, we appreciate the good times more when we're faced with hardships. This is a test for my strength, spirituality and responsibility. And I'm determined to come out of it as a better person.

On this path, effort never goes to waste, and there is no failure. -Bhagavad Geetha

Whoa!! From hyper to philosophical. Not bad huh? =P

Another choice to make :S

2011-09-05T16:45:00.000+10:00

Should I or should I not??

When I first came to Australia, I told myself I'd grab every opportunity, and I did. But now, things have changed, and so have my priorities. I'm feeling more and more academically challenged with each day, and then there's the financial bit. At first I decided not to work, and just save, but then again...

If I am to start working next year, ie. when my timetable frees up a little, will I or will I not still have time for a position in MSA? If I do, which position should I take? That brings about another question. Exactly how much time will I be able to spare? But if I were to keep my current post, that isn't moving upwards, and thus a sort of waste of opportuniy??

Why does everyone believe in me so much?! Can't they just agree with me and save me the trouble of thinking this through?

Eid 2011 =)

2011-09-04T19:58:00.000+10:00

I'm not a Muslim myself, but I grew up with Ramadan and Eid, Hari raya Aidilfitri. And as it is with all things familiar to us, I was homesick when Eid came around this year. But oh well, we've got to make do with what we have don't we?

Eid this year was on a weekday, and since we're not in Malaysia, no public holiday =( But we're not going to let that hamper the festive mood, are we??

Yesterday, we had a ~~small~~ not-so-small gathering at one of our Muslim classmate's house. Cookies, food, and lots of giggles. Why can't we be that happy all the time??

P.S: this is less than half of the crowd =)

Cookies =)

2011-08-27T23:39:00.000+10:00

Living in a household of 6 young women isn't always the best thing for your moods. We're hormonal, have mood swings, and are struggling to cope with our own academic pressures. There are good days and there are bad days.

Today was particularly awesome =)

The silver lining

2011-08-22T23:24:00.000+10:00

I can't see it for now, but I know it's lingering around, waiting for the right moment to show itself. But for now, that hope will have to take me through this. I know I'll survive, it'll pass and all will be right again, and I know I should just stay positive and stride on.

But reality: I'm tired, I'm stressed, I'm buried under workload, and yet I procrastinate, I've slept through a couple of alarms, I'm hitting snooze too much, have skipped more lectures than I should. I'm reading but not studying, writing but not making sense of it. Surviving on caffeine. Putting on a smile takes a lot of energy, but breaking down is not an option. I've cried in public twice, cried myself to sleep too many times. I know what I want for myself, but I can't see myself getting there.

I always contemplate letting go. I'm going to stop caring about what people around me think and walk around like a zombie. I'll make academics the only focus for awhile and scrape through, sacrificing everything else, including time for myself. I'm going to stop making the effort to be involved, stop making memories.The thread that holds me together is wearing thin. If that day actually comes, I wouldn't be too surprised.

Hidden emotions

2011-08-18T15:15:00.000+10:00

This morning, I decided to leave to class early, so that I could have a relaxing stroll instead of a stressful brisk walk. I left my house at 8.20am and was at class by 8.40am. For the next 20 minutes I pretty much just stood there and observed everything around me. The students with their files and folders, the birds, the clouds, the lazy sway of the trees. And then, I saw a man. He was carrying his toddler. A toddler. Perfectly capable of walking by himself. The pair reached the entrance of the day care centre on campus. The kid was pretty much unfazed. But the same couldn't be said about the dad. He kissed his child on the cheek. A few times. Then he reluctantly set his son down, and watched him walk into the day care. He stood there waving goodbye until his son was out of sight. And then he seemed a bit lost. Just stood there for a few seconds. And suddenly, he started walking hurriedly away. Off to work, I presume.

This small scene was a very familiar one. My father sent me to school. To tuition classes. To the train station. And finally to the airport. It has become my father's responsibility to get his 2 daughters to their destination. Till today, he insists on sending my sister to work. Wherever it is he's sending us to, we usually have a fixed purpose of going there. More often than not, that purpose is a chore, it's a hassle, it's tiring, it's stressful, it's an obligation. When we get there, we walk in purposefully. We don't turn to wave goodbye.

This morning, on the first floor of X5B, I cried my eyes out, while 2 classmates looked at me not knowing what to do. I miss my dad.

Desperate Measures

2011-08-17T13:06:00.000+10:00

I'm trying desperately (and failing for now) to reset my biological clock. Why? Because my life is so messed up. Too messed up, actually. And the craziness of any given day in my life is tiring me. Mentally and physically. I have actually spaced out during one of my spaced out moments. Maybe that makes sense only to me, but seriously, I could use some sense of order and normalcy. NOW.

Step 1 Reset biological sleep clock.
Considering I'm always tired, always reluctant to go to bed, and ALWAYS reluctant to wake up, I guess this should be my first 'intervention'. (OMG I'm intervening myself O.o) I've been trying to go to bed at 11pm for a few days now, because I need to wake up at 7am on weekdays. (If you can't do the math, this is so that I can get 8 hours of sleep) Getting myself to go to bed at 11pm isn't really a problem. But it's so hard to get everything done by 11pm!!! The waking up at 7am part is not so bad, but some days I have hamster eyes and I beg my roomie to go shower first. Other days, I just snooze my alarm unconsciously and wake up around 7.30am.

Step 2 Be well ahead of my workload
I'm not trying hard to do this yet, but I will soon enough. My academic life is the perfect metaphor for the rat-race. Days, dates, and deadlines constantly chase me and I'm just barely keeping ahead of them. I've got ot brush up my act before one day, they catch up with me.

Step 3 Achieve financial goals
My finances are fine, but I'm not saving as much as I initially planned to. I have set a target to reach before I go back to Malaysia, so hopefully once I've sorted out my life a bit more, I can start acting more like a cheapskate Indian.

Step 4 Drink less coffee
I don't know how this is possible. I've brought myself down to a cup a day since coming to Sydney (mainly because 15 serves of my favourite coffee is $5). But it's becoming more and more evident that I rely too much on caffeine to carry on with life. NOT GOOD. So I've set a pretty reasonable target. A cup a day, but only on weekdays. *fingers crossed*

Why have you been reading this? I have no idea. Now shoo... go do something more productive with your time.

I think God loves me =S

2011-08-10T13:34:00.000+10:00

I'm a not-bad Hindu. I don't deserve to call myself a good one, but I'm a not-bad one. it may also to useful to know that I'm a weirdo and my thought processes are anything but normal. So, if at any point of reading this post, you think "Why would anyone think like that?!", the answer is because I'm just weird. Yeah, I'm cool like that =P

So, it all started when I was in Primary 1 (I kid you not. It really DID start when I was 7). I never thought I was smart. In fact, I envied some of my other classmates. I particularly remember how I felt towards a girl called Aqmalia. All the teachers loved her. She was smart, and humble, and polite, and had good handwriting, and whatever other good qualities that a Primary 1 student can possibly have. I vividly remember how badly I wanted to be like her. Smart and loved.

That year, in the final exams (ie. the first final exam of my 7 year old life) I came out first. While everyone around me congratulated me, I stood there dumbfounded. If any of my Primary 1 classmates still remember, we had a conversation just before the results were announced, and we unanimously agreed that Aqmalia was probably the class topper. And it has continued ever since. My results have always turned out great despite of the effort I put in, or how I think I did my exams.

I won't bore you with details of the 11 years in between, but when I got to Form 5, and was about to sit for SPM, my teachers talked me into taking extra subjects. I ended up taking Accounting and Commerce on my own. No tutoring, no classes. Just a stack of books and me. I was convinced I'd never make it, but God gave me 12 A1s that year. I said thanks like a mad person. I gave offerings and I went around the temple like a zillion times. I asked Him why. But I wasn't enlightened.

He then gave me a scholarship. To study Actuarial Studies. In Australia. I asked Him why. He gave me a TER of 99.0 for my South Australian Matriculation. I asked Him why. (This one in particular bugs me to this day. I would have been accepted into Uni with a lower score. 99 was totally unnecessary)

I wanted to come to Macquarie University. I prayed for the strength and courage to study overseas by myself. He sent my whole class with me. (Our sponsor suddenly decided that all of u would got o the same Uni)

When I went to a Hindu temple here in Sydney, I prayed for companionship, I prayed for good friends, and I prayed for Indian acquaintances. He gave me 3 lovely classmates and 2 sweet Malaysian Indian girls as housemates. He also gave me 2 distant cousin brothers (one 10 minutes away-my mother's adopted brother's son, one 1 hour away-from India).

For my first semester, He gave me a GPA of 4. And He gave me much more. Small things. The convenience of a bus stop in front of my house with routes to the places I go most often. The joy of dancing for a Malaysian event. The thrill of being an MC. The privilege of being in the committee of the Malaysian Student's Association. The excitement of discovering we can buy readymade Thosai batter(or maybe dat's just me =P). The gift of going to bed smiling. This time I'm not asking. I know. God loves me.I just had to stop questioning Him =)

1st weekend of the semester

2011-08-06T22:26:00.000+10:00

I have a lot to get done, but I'm pretty much on schedule for now. I finished jotting down ALL important dates of the semester. Due dates for assignments, class tests, Mid semester exams and online quizzes, dance practices (every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday), Malaysia fest (which is what I'm practising for),my MC-ing stint for an actuarial students' event, birthdays, religious events, and when I have to pay my rent and phone bill. I've even marked the days I have to work on my tutorials for each subject (i.e. the day before the tutorial) My calendar is pretty full right now, and there'll definitely be more things to add on it, but I'll be fine. I survived the first semester, so there's no reason I won't make it through this one.

We're having thosai for breakfast tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We bought readymade batter, but oh well.. It's still a big deal. I feel like a kid. And oddly at the same time, I feel like a woman. Okay, I won't start. Maybe I'll write another post about this transition phase. In one sentence, I've been having weird monologues lately about entering/having entered adulthood.

First load of laundry of the semester: done not during the weekends like I did last semester, but on Wednesday morning. BEFORE I left for class. That's like 8.30am!!! I came home from class at 10.30am and popped them in the dryer. Feels so awesome somehow. Hoping I can maintain this as routine throughout the semester.

I've also bought a printer, for economical purposes and also for convenience. It'll be here sometime next week. I originally ordered the cheapest printer I could find, a HP1000 deskjet. 2 days ago I got an e-mail saying that product is no longer in production and I'm getting a HP all-in-one for the same price. Woohoooooo!!!!!!! Thanks God. xoxo

More useless updates: I layered my hair again when I was in Malaysia last month, so my hair is currently slightly shorter, and has more crazy layers than before. I have finally achieved the kind of hair I used to have in 2010, the kind which curls just perfect when NOT combed. This means I can go (and have been going) to class with the hair I wake up with. Time management 101 =P

I've also learnt that my 2 Indian housemates are more than willing to be my guinea pigs. Now I can stop feeling sorry for them. From my cooking, to doing their nails, their hair, and putting on Mehndi, those 2 are the victims of all my whims. Poor things =P

*Brag mode on* Meet one of the MCs for Meet the Professionals Night. You don't need to know what event it is. It's formal and I'm MC-ing. Tried out for fun, and now I've landed the job. I foresee a shopping trip in the near future. Mwahahahahah

I've already started sucking up to Jim Farmer. That's THE Jim Farmer. Lecturer for ACST 212. *insert scary sound effect here*It seems to be working for now. We'll see where that goes. Or rather, I will. Wish me luck.

The reason I'm cramming so much useless, unrelated info into one post? The semester just started you guys!!! I'm obviously not going to be blogging that often right? And these are things I want to be reading years on.

And Semester 2 kicks in..full force

2011-08-03T22:43:00.000+10:00

It's the third day of my second semester here, and I'm already bogged down. By pressure, by stress, by the workload, by the sheer helplessness.

But then again, this semester is going to be a fun filled one. My calendar of activities are brimming, and I can just foresee all the pictures and memories =)

I'll get out of this alive, in one piece, and hopefully with the little sanity I have still intact.

On a totally unrelated note, I have recently learnt to look at myself differently, in a better light. I always thought I was a weirdo with the oddest thoughts, especially ones which concern spirituality and the bigger questions in life. But I have finally met 2 people who share some of my views. We have long pondered over the same questions, ones which no one has quite answered yet. And suddenly I realised that my thought process is far from weird, I'm actually mature. And I'm very proud of myself.

With this new found sense of pride and confidence, I'm going to totally own this semester. Watch me =)

Outdated winter break updates

2011-07-29T18:41:00.000+10:00

Melbourne: National Conference and Games 2011.

New experience, and fortunately was an awesome one =) Truly realised the meaning of freedom and independence. Stayed at a female dorm, and overheard lots of juicy stories=P Made new acquaintances and some friends ;)

My 2 lovely housemates met me in Melbourne for a day, and we went to the Old Melbourne Jail (spelt as Gaol here :S)

Sort of class reunion with friends from Inti..asyik makan je kite org =P Bumped into half of the Inti gang in Queen Victoria's Market... And needless to say, I spent most of my cash there =P

Kuala Lumpur : Sister's rented condo. Currently occupied by mum and dad too.

Ate, ate, and ate some more. My sister is working her head off, so not much fun there... but she felt kinda guilty about not spending time with me, so she spent lots of money on me =P

Kajang: Inthu's hometown =)

Me and Inthu spent RM60 on one meal in Pizza Hut =P Renu joined us halfway and we went karaoke-ing. Aiyo.. scream till no voice. Then we had Satay Kajang!! Nice la.. but the ones at my hometown better =P

Kuala Lumpur again

My sister's current client is Berjaya Holdings, so Renu, Inthu and I went to Times Square to meet her for lunch. And yes, she paid =P Then the three of us wandered around aimlessly talking sweet nothings <3

Sitiawan : Home Sweet Home

My bed, my temple, familiar faces, lots of familiar food =) One week of bliss...

Bentong: Dad's hometown

Went to see Dorai Uncle and his family. It really has been long, and I enjoyed myself, though only for a day. He treated us to a Chinese dinner. =)

Kuala Lumpur, yet again

Shopping. For my Mum, for my sister, for myself. I think I spent around 4 days just shopping =P Went on a mini tour to see relatives, most of whom treat4ed us to dinner =)Then just lepak at home, exercise fingers by switching channels. Frantic packing ensued..

Sydney

The last few days of my winter break. Spent in the worst way ever. Planning, stocking up on essentials, and rearranging timetable. Soooooo not anticipating the next few months of blood, sweat and tears =(

Australia has made me an adult =)

2011-07-02T22:44:00.000+10:00

Today was an adventure of sorts. Did many things for the first time. First flight alone, first time to Melbourne, first time my flight was cancelled, first time I bought the next flight out, first time I used a kiosk to check in, first time I wasn't picked up upon arrival at the airport, first time I took a shuttle bus on my own, first time I checked into a hotel on my own. I'm so proud of myself, and so grateful for Amala sending me off =)

Somehow, today has made me realise how far I've come from the old me. I've done many things I would never dream of doing back in Malaysia. I've come a long way, and am definitely more brave than I've ever been. I'm more independent, financially as well. I'm more rational and somewhat realistic. But more importantly, I've learnt how to keep myself safe, and out of trouble. I've learnt how to get up when I fall, and how to solve problems instead of dwell on them.

If you told the old VJ that her flight was cancelled, she would stare at you blankly for a whole minute, and then start panicking and probably shed some tears. But today, I smiled, asked about the refund, said thank you very politely and left. I sat down in a quiet area, sorted my thoughts, and called my mum. She thought I was joking at first, partly because I sounded so calm. Mum said since I was already at the airport, might as well carry on with the trip.

Searched a few websites and ta-daaa!!!! Qantas flight in 2 and a half hours. Reasonable price. Few clicks later, I've got a new flight. And everything falls into place perfectly. =) I'm a young woman now, and I've just passed a rite of passage.

dealing with an unexpected crisis like nothing happened: check

Winter Update 3

2011-07-01T20:39:00.000+10:00

1. Baked cupcakes, secretively, in the same house as the birthday girl. Hid all evidence in kitchen cupboards. Iced the cupcakes in my room. She never found out, until she was supposed to. I'm such a good friend =P

2.Went to temple, in a saree!!!!!!!!!!!! And made archanai for a loved one. Holy ash for you is coming my dear =)

3. Crazy shopping spree before leaving for Melbourne. Bought gifts for everyone dear to me <3 Followed by crazy budgeting. I'm starving myself next semester.

4. Last minute packing, messing up, clearing, repeat.

5. Discovered it doesn't take much for new friendships to blossom, grow, and be super-glued to your heart =)

6. The closer I am to getting there, the more I miss home =(

7. Admitted that not having a in-built panic button is bad, very bad.

8. Tomorrow I'll be in Melbourne! Volunteering for National Conference and Games for Malaysian students by Malaysian students. Hope to make lots of new friends, and bring back lots of memories (documented as pictures on Facebook) =)

9. This time next week, I'll be home!!!!!! Will try my best to NOT upload any pics of food for the sake of my friends who are stuck in Sydney =P

10. I'm a girl. And biologically, it sucks. Imma go stuff myself with chocolate to feel better. Bye =(

We need a little break.

2011-06-25T12:12:00.000+10:00

Dear Home,

I miss you. I really do. But this relationship isn't working for me. You know, this long distance thing. I've decided its time to move on. But please, don't take me the wrong way. Let's just look at this as a break. We'll see each other still, of course we will. There'll always be the summer holidays, right? But I thought I should let you know that I'm seeing someone else now.

He was just an acquaintance at first. In fact, we started of as strangers. I didn't know when, and I didn't know how, but I think I'm learning to love this guy. When I first came to know him, he was cold and a bit harsh. Trust me, he gave me a hard time. I've spent nights crying over the way he treated me.

With time, I adapted to his ways and I've discovered that it wasn't him, it was me. Deep down, he's really sweet; full of surprises. And we've been through a lot together. Moving into a new place, making new friends, he's even the reason why I learnt how to cook! Yes, dear, I know this strikes a chord. But your cooking is always the best, unquestionable.

Listen, I know this is hard for you to accept. But this isn't long term, I promise. You were my first love and I'll never forget you. And I'm not going to lie. I don't love him more than I love you, but relationships are supposed to be building, moulding , growing. And we weren't going anywhere.

Maybe it's time I came out of my shell, learnt new things, stood on my own two feet. And if it's true that you loved me, you would agree that this is perhaps the best for me right now. Oh, I wish you could see me now. I'm independent, a little bit more responsible, and a lot more proud of my culture, my heritage. And I have finally picked up Mandarin!! Isn't that ironic? The one thing that only a Malaysian Indian could do, I finally did over here. Honestly, the list goes on. I cook better, I communicate better, I even pay my own bills. And I have savings!!

The point is, Sydney and I are more than just friends now. I don't know where this is headed yet, but I couldn't keep this to myself. I guess, I didn't want to lie to you, and I didn't want to lie to myself.

With love and a little guilt,

Vijeya

A random 21st

2011-06-23T00:27:00.000+10:00

That's what the birthday boy called it. A random 21st. It was pretty random, considering how we never really knew each other back in Malaysia.

The food, in order consumed:
Orange cake with dark chocolate coating.
Briyani, chicken perattal, raita, fried cauliflower.
Chocolate bavarian
Ice-cream :2 servings.

Laughed so hard my cheeks hurt. Its funny how we find happiness in the smallest things. How we get along so well, despite being strangers. What's not funny is how much you miss your mum when you succeed in replicating her cooking.

But anyways, today was a glimpse into what the future holds for me in Sydney. Lots of laughter, and some wacky memories =)

Winter break update 2

2011-06-21T16:32:00.000+10:00

Woke up, showered, ate breakfast.

Made lunch. Spicy fried rice with some fried fish fillet.

Scrubbed the kitchen sink. Just felt like it.

Made another cake today. Orange cake with chocolate chips. Came out of the oven, cut and served. Within minutes, all gone. This is what true friends are for =P

Now I'm rotting online again.. Looking forward to Skype session with my bestie tonite!!!! <3

*if you've noticed, my posts get more and more bland each day. This is because some of my posts are meant for myself, so that years into the future, I can scroll through them and remember these times. Sorry if I'm boring you with my mundane life =)

Winter break update 1

2011-06-19T22:17:00.000+10:00

So, I woke up, scurried to Woolsworth to get some groceries.

Came home, started lunch. Chicken curry, stir fried kai lan and rice. Allowed some time for digestion =P

Baked a cake. Too Rich chocolate cake. I kid you not. That's it's name. Found the recipe online, but seriously, it was too rich =P

Chappati for dinner. Ate it with leftover curry. I love having people to feed!!!!

After dinner, went berserk in the kitchen. Washed, wiped and kept away lots of utensils. Felt mucho satisfied afterwards =)

Now, rotting away online. Hmm... so what shall I cook tomorrow?

Winter break resolutions

2011-06-18T20:27:00.000+10:00

1. Don't put on weight. Losing any is pretty much impossible, so not gaining any weight is a perfectly reasonable resolution =P

2. Cook like crazy. Baking frenzy. And the hardest of all, share the food =P

3. Shopping!!! Without exceeding budgets. sigh

4. Hang out with potential besties. You know who you are =)

5. Writing competition!!! Maybe, just maybe, I'll get an entry ready =P

6. Wake up mostly in the mornings =P

7. Make the most out of NCG.

8.Make the most of Malaysia trip (NOT in terms of food)

Seeing double

2011-06-16T00:42:00.000+10:00

Maybe I've found what I wasn't looking for. And the prospects of what this could be, frighten me. Right now, my right brain tells me to avoid all contact and run in the opposite direction. But then again, I'm a Libran. We never listen to our right brains.

I think I'm going to let things be and not interfere with the cosmos.

It's too easy to be misunderstood

2011-06-14T18:05:00.000+10:00

The little things people remember never fails to surprise me. A simple gesture, innocent in my point of view, is noted and is passed on as a scandalous, somewhat romantic incident.

Maybe I should make my intentions more clear. Maybe I should start every kind sentence with a disclaimer. Perhaps I should just give up being nice. To the opposite gender that is. Maybe then I won't be misunderstood.

But then again, my intentions of avoiding further scandals will be misinterpreted as being cold and arrogant.

*sigh* It's never easy being a girl is it?

The kindest person of all =)

2011-06-08T13:06:00.000+10:00

He draws cartoon notes for you to study.

He draws smiley faces on your test papers.

He gives you a whole tissue roll when you have a running nose in the exam hall.

He buys you fruits when he goes to the night market.

He buys you tau fu fa just because he saw you on his way to the stall.

He sms-es you hints the night before an exam.

He makes you a sweet note to take with you when you leave for University.

He writes good luck wishes on your Facebook wall.

He hides under tables, and sometimes sits on them.

He tells the lamest jokes in the funniest way.

He surprises you with apples.

He's our lecturer, our friend, our 'coach', our clown.

He calls himself Brother Yee. And I hope he knows that that's exactly what we think of him. Our big brother =)

I want a (well deserved) break

2011-06-08T01:18:00.000+10:00

I study till 3am and wake up for lunch. I go through the whole torment of switching between studying and procrastinating all over again and the cycle continues. It's been 4 days and I'm losing my sanity. Once I'm over with the exams, I want to go on a shopping spree, and spend half a day at Max Brenner's. I want to stay at home one day and cook everything I've been meaning to.I want to go to the temple and thank God for sorting out Inthu's university application thing. I want to sit at some posh looking cafe with a hyper friend and sip gourmet coffee and eat dainty pastry with a fork. I want to stuff myself with Malaysian food and I want to take a stroll in some park somewhere.

Had to get it out, and now I have. So, who's free after the 17th?? =)

Living up to expectations

2011-06-05T21:39:00.000+10:00

I spent today at my cousin's place, in Epping. He happened to have a visitor over today, a cousin of his, and thus a distant cousin of mine. She and her husband are great company, and I had so much fun chatting and laughing and just having a great time. Plus, my sister-in-law made sure the wonderful food kept coming, so I was in heaven =)

Towards the end of the day, my distant cousin who I had just met said "Your mother must be so proud of you."

If you have just met me, you would have plenty of reasons to say that. I'm on a scholarship, studying an insanely tough course, and I seem pleasant and friendly, and independent. So yeah, technically my parents should be proud of me.

But to make me who I am today, I can only imagine what my parents have been through. I haven't been the model child. I was always a rebel, maybe I still am. Sure, my parents always tell me how happy they are. And if they're disappointed in me, they're sure doing a good job of hiding it.

It gets me thinking. Have my achievements overshadowed my past (that I really am not proud of)? Something tells me I still have a long way to go before I can truly believe that statement.

How about you? Are you deserving of your parent's pride? Or do you have to prove your worth to yourself first, like me?

Happy things I'm grateful for =)

2011-06-04T15:04:00.000+10:00

1. Sweet room mates =) It's funny how we never tried, but somehow we ended up living together. It's true that when I first got to know you girls, I really wished we had met earlier so that we could live together or at least nearby. Next thing I know, we're roomies!!! *Thanks God=)*

2. Someone likes my cooking. Yes, my Chinese friends like my curry, but it doesn't really count unless you're Indian. Now I know that my cooking passes Indian standards. I'm on my way to achieve my ultimate goal in life : Become a housewife =P

3. I'm going home in a month!!! Look forward to it everyday, and it's the only thing that keeps me going nowadays...

4. Fat bank balance. Not fat by the average person's standards, but it's plenty for me. All my budgeting has paid off. Who's up for shopping?? =P

5. Sri Lankan grocery shop in Eastwood!!! Run by Punjabi folks, but it has everything I could ever wish for. They even have frozen Paneer!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heck, you don't get it back home!!!!

6. Ample time to study at my own pace. Feeling a little suffocated, but then again, 1 week is plenty. I'm going to stop panicking and take it a day at a time.

7. Home cooked Malaysian food waiting for me in the next suburb =) I love my sister in law <3

8. Frozen karipap sitting in the freezer. Thanks Kak Inaz, Mas, Katy and Qila =)

9. Kacy is always talking rubbish. And I'm happy for that too =P

10. My mum got the saree I sent her for Mother's day in the mail. Took almost a month, but the good news is she loves it =)

11. Received an e-mail about a writing competition from Macquarie Uni Student Groups. It's been years since I did that kind of stuff. I feel like I'm an excited high-schooler all over again =)

Some things are meant to be

2011-06-03T18:17:00.001+10:00

I have learnt to accept that some things happen because they were meant to. It's just another way of saying to myself "There's nothing you can do about it. Move on." And I believe a lot of people do that. They may hide their frustration at being helpless of a particular situation by being philosophical, or by over using the phrase "It could have been worse."

But now I have a new perspective on things. Actually it's an old perspective, but it's new to me. Most things that have happened to me, especially the ones I perceive as bad, have all turned out to be for the better.

2 years ago, I thought I was done for. I regretted some of the major decisions I had made, which were ultimately going to stay with me for the rest of my life. Picking Actuarial Studies, accepting the scholarship, and cutting myself off from some close friends.

Fast forward to the present, I'm in an enviable position.Okay, so maybe I still regret picking Actuarial Studies =P But I'm a better person, shaped by the adversities I was unwillingly put in.

I'm learning a new language, making new friends, fending for myself, picking up culinary skills, and I have realised that I love Malaysia, and Indian culture, and all the food I grew up with.

Heck, I love idiotic conversations in my mother tongue. I love Indian pickles to bits!!! And the sight of Indian groceries makes me happy inside =P

Yeah, I know I'm kinda off topic, but that's who I am. High on sugar and nonsensical.

Point is, I wouldn't be so happy over the petty things if I wasn't depressed to the max previously right?? And things always turn out perfectly. For me at least. We make some irrational choices, and wish for the best. The result: better than I had ever imagined =)

A student's life

2011-05-30T15:56:00.001+10:00

Sometimes all the stress, and hard work, and hurried scribblings on A4 paper is worth it. And you only truly appreciate the little things when you're tied up with assignments =P

From going crazy at almost 2am to being sprawled on the floor with classmates trying to tie up any loose ends in your assignments, to submitting it with a smirk.

I don't know how I did it, but I managed to squeeze 1 night of preparing for MSA food event, 1 day of the actual event and cleaning up, 1 last minute plan to go to the City for Vivid Sydney, 1 Economics online quiz, 1 SuperFund Simulation, 1 Maths Assignment, and helping 2 new room mates settle in...into 1 very short weekend. How I managed to stay sane, I may never know...

But all that was in the past, it holds no meaning to me now. Now, all I can feel is relieve, and the sudden urge to dance in the rain. (P.S. It's raining outside =P)

Although some of my coursemates may say "But the exam is coming soon anyway", I say that's exactly why I want to enjoy my new found 'carefree-ness' =P

And I'm going to start, by taking a nap. Bye!!!!!!! =)

I got published!!!! =)

2011-05-24T17:52:00.000+10:00

Below is my submission to Grapeshot Magazine, Macquarie University's Student Publication.
It was published under the International column, and I got a full page!! If any of it sounds familiar, it's because the article is actually a compilation of some of my previous blog entries...

Same shade of green

Ever wondered what it’s like to be an International newbie in Sydney? I’ve often wondered if you have. Hi. My name is Vijeyatharzhini Bathmanathan. Don’t hyperventilate just yet. Save yourself the trouble and call me VJ. I’m a hopeless first year doing a Bachelor in Actuarial Studies in Macquarie University. I’m Malaysian and this is my side of the story.

February 11
I landed in Australia on the morning of 9th Feb. Everything's going good so far. I'm ditching the current place I'm living in for a cheaper place further down the road. I'll be staying with 4 of my friends from Malaysia! We haven't even moved in, but it feels like home already. There’s a bus stop right at the front gate (not exaggerating) and two of our guy friends are next door! I sense some 'reunion' dinners already =P

Macquarie University is pretty awesome, except for being humongous and a bit on the ancient side. You can't help but feel rustic around campus. All we do around here is walk, walk, and walk some more. But that's only because we aren't familiar with road names and bus routes, besides the fact that we're too shy to ask the drivers.

All of us have registered online for enrolment. On the 14th, (yes, on Valentines) we'll start enrolling and picking units, and working out timetables. What a romantic way to spend the day!

Oh, and people here are really awesome! We get down from the plane and we get FREE lunch from the Malaysian Student Department. Our seniors invite us over for FREE dinner (their pastas were so delicious). The International Student Services gives out FREE Pizza Lunches (only from 10th-12th Feb). I even got to eat Malaysian Indian food at my cousin's place (obviously that's FREE too). And we're also getting FREE breakfast on Valentines because some department is launching some program (but seriously, who cares =P)

I'm finally getting a feel of summer, and it's not a feeling I like. HOT!!! And please bear in mind that I'm from Malaysia! If I say it's hot, it's HOT.

March 12
The highlight of the long workload filled week we just had was yesterday's get-together! Picture more than 30 Malaysian students sitting on blankets spread out in our backyard, eating super spicy sambal, with tears in our eyes. We were up since 8am, shopping and cooking and cleaning and preparing. But it was totally worth it... Love u guys, Loved the experience.

On another note, thanks to my thick face and irrational thinking and the guts to actually do what I irrationally thought of, I am now PR of the Malaysian Students Association here. Don't know what to expect yet, but it'll be so cool to poke your nose around in all the other 'departments'. Sounds just like me! As a bonus, now heaps of people know my name!!!

But all isn't rosy on my part. I miss you. Yes, YOU. The one staring at the screen, all the way from Malaysia. I've said it so many times, and yet, I haven't said it enough.

April 10
It's our mid semester break!!!! And what better way to spend the first weekend of our break than
having a girl's day out?We had the perfect combination: 5 giggly girls, chocolate, sunset by the beach, awesome Indonesian food for dinner, and a fireworks show the minute we arrived at Darling Harbour. Then we had a walk around and stumbled upon not 1, not 2, but 3 awesome street shows: a guy on a didgeridoo, a fire juggler, and awesome B-boy-ers!!!

Today, however, we woke up to a sour start: Economics online quiz. But after that was done with, we baked muffins, and cupcakes, and cookies, and a Chinese savoury mini pie sort of thing. We had pizza for dinner, so you can imagine what the oven has been through today =P

.......................................................................

Wow! I’m impressed you actually read all that. Now don’t you wish you were International? It has been a wonderful experience, and has made me appreciate life as I know it. I’m so much more grateful for everything I identify as Malaysian. From our currency to our food to our weather. And I’m happy to report that contrary to popular belief, the grass on this side of the fence is exactly the same shade of green.

by Vijeyatharzhini Bathmanathan

Weekends are for leisure?? Maybe not =(

2011-05-14T21:00:00.000+10:00

Come every Friday, my heart leaps with joy and there's a skip in my step. The first thing I think upon waking up on Saturday is "It's Saturday!!!! Woohooo!!!!!"

But, today, I realised something. Something I should have realised 3 months ago. I'm busier on weekends than on weekdays =.=

So much for all the excitement huh?? But somehow, weekends are still nice. Yes, I have lots of work to do, but

1. I don't have to wake up at 7am
2. I don't have to walk to campus and back.
3. I don't have to think of what to eat for lunch =P
4. I don't have to take rushed baths.
5. I don't have to sit through boring lectures =P

Yeah, sure, I've got a tonne of assignments and a test on Monday, but still... It's Saturday!!! Woohoo!!!

We're all giggly and hyped up and falling about laughing. We were calling dibs on the swing in the nearby playground. Few seconds later we realised it's too cold to be outside, especially on a swing! We talked about everything under the sun, and laughed about almost all of it. Even the moodiest of us was smiling the whole time!!

Workload or not, weekends are almost necessary for a student to survive. Especially one doing actuarial studies.

Bye now. My assignment's calling =P

A stroll around the neighbourhood

2011-05-08T18:05:00.001+10:00

There's a swing within metres away from my house!!!! Woohooo!!! *chicken dance* I can foresee many memorable and quite a number of reflective evenings on that swing. I think I'm in love!!

*with the swing people...with the swing.

The little things

2011-05-06T22:30:00.000+10:00

It's the little things that make us or break us. Most of the times, I don't care. Or rather, I don't want to care, and therefore pretend not to. But reality has a way of getting to you sooner or later. In a very abrupt, cruel way.

And it sometimes leaves you confused, perplexed. Why am I so upset, you ask yourself. It was only something trivial. My rational right brain scoffs at how petty this issue is. But with time you realise that it was the final load that broke the bridge of your emotions. The bridge that takes you across from brain to heart.

And as you lie there in a pool of tears, you begin analysing your life at present, and cry more with each thought. Cry for every decision you've ever made, as it somehow links to the current state you're in.

It is at our weakest moments that we question ourselves like never before. And you can't see the good side of things, at least not yet. You're broken and need time to heal. And sometimes, you need someone to mend you.

And then you think about the fact that you don't know where to find that person. Simply because you don't know who that person is. And then you cry some more. You know what, since you're at it, why don't you cry for the weather? Or the poor people in poverty stricken countries?

It gets you thinking, though. Surely such a person must exist? Someone who would understand, and not judge me, and help me through this. Some one who would say "It's going to be okay" instead of the obligatory "What's wrong?".

Wait.. there is one person. Maybe, just maybe... You pick up the phone, stare at it for eternity. Unlock, contacts, scroll down. But what do you say? I need you to be around? Too cheesy? Too romantic? Inappropriate? You contemplate dialing that number, and then your doubt wins you over. Maybe I'll text. No.. too awkward?

Hold your horses there buddy...Why are you considering this anyway?! Your brain wants to know whether you actually regard this person as more than an acquaintance? A friend perhaps? Surely nothing more...

And when you can't think up a reasonable reply, you somehow know the answer. Question is, what do you do about it?

Disclaimer: This post is an exaggeration of reality and a bit of fiction thrown in. Don't ask me why, that's just how I write =P

A day at a time

2011-05-02T16:04:00.000+10:00

For now, my only companion is the caffeine in my body and the assignments and tutorials ahead of me. I keep telling myself that I just have to slog on...If for no other reason, then because it's the only choice I have. I could TRY and not procrastinate, but let's keep things realistic, shall we?

But I know I'll be fine. I'll survive these 3 years and live to tell the story. I'll go home with tonnes of memories, and photos, and new friends on Facebook. I'll carry on with life and not once look back at the days where I walked around like a zombie with no sleep, or the days when all that Maths got to my head and I went crazy. The only things I will fondly remember are the good stuff. The giggles (lots of them), the silly antics, the intellectual conversations and the random nonsense. And hopefully some satisfactory results.

But if I don't stop blogging now, I'll probably only remember the time I did badly for Statistics because I didn't submit my assignment in time =P

What faith is to me...

2011-04-26T18:07:00.000+10:00

Don't ask what inspired this post. It's a long and boring story. But anyways...what is faith to you? Do you truly believe the religion passed down to you by your parents? If you're a convert, what did you see in your new religion that you lacked in your previous one? What is faith to me? It's a question that has been at the back of my mind for ages, and I think I've found an answer that is satisfactory to me.

Hinduism in my eyes is very simple. There is a Supreme Lord, one that we can't see but is there all the same. Our Maker, our Saviour. But we need something concrete to direct our prayers and to worship. We're more often than not not spiritual enough to grasp the concept of the Supreme Lord completely. Hence, the many deities we Hindus worship came about. Each deity representing a certain aspect of the Supreme to fulfill our spiritual needs. The thousands of gods and goddesses man created over time are but different ways of picturing the Supreme Lord.

Hinduism is often viewed as a way of life. The stories, the legends, and the epics define our doctrine. And sometimes, in believing the doctrine itself, you start questioning whether you truly believe the legends and epics that convey these messages. Do I really believe the 10 avatars of Vishnu? Do I really believe that the Mahabharat was history and not a myth? And the biggest question of all :Do I believe in God?

Do I believe that fasting, chanting and worshiping idols are spiritual acts? Or am I just blindly following the path shown to me by my parents? Is there a right way to worship God? Is there a 'right' religion to reach God?

And when I am alone in a dark room, or when I am in a train carriage full of scary looking men, or when I am about to sit for a test I perceive as impossible to ace, all my questions dissipate. I do believe God. Simply because I turn to Him in trouble. Simply because I find peace in a temple. Simply because my religion has become my way of life. When I am caught in a situation and I instinctively pray to God, I don't direct my prayers to any particular deity in Hinduism. I just pray. And I'm sure so do you.

Regardless of the ways we've been thought to worship God, regardless of what we call Him, all religions point to a Supreme power. It's that simple. Some people drink coffee in the morning, some add sugar, some have a certain type of coffee they prefer. Over the years, some may switch to tea. But we don't question such trivial habits. We don't judge people on many of their choices,some of which affect people besides themselves, then why do we question their faith, which is something personal?

Faith to me is a habit. I pray after my bath in the mornings because I was brought up to do so. I brought along my holy ash to Australia because it's one of my habits to wear it every day. I don't eat beef because it's a habit. I go to temple on holy days because it's just something I have always done. Some people call my habits Hinduism. But really, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you call it. I'm doing it because I'm used to it and it has become my identity. Problem?

Don't worry about me

2011-04-21T11:58:00.000+10:00

Don't worry about me, I'll be fine
I'll make my bed and take my pills on time
And when I see somebody on the street
I make sure I say Hello, I say Hello

Don't worry about me, I'll be good
And I'll do all the things you said that I should
And when I see somebody on the street
I make sure that I smile (though I can't stand them)

They'll never know
They'll never see
They'll never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me

Don't worry about me, I'll be OK
I'll be the quiet one when there's nothing to say
Just sitting by himself in the corner singing this song
Thinking of you

Don't worry about me, I'll be allright
It's just that haven't slept for 64 nights
Coz sleep won't come without your arms wrapped around my soul

They'll never know
They'll never see
They'll never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me

It's not that I got something to hide
It's just that, just that I got nothing inside
It feels like, feels like bulb in my ceiling went out
And I'm stuck in dark without you

No, I know I said that I wouldn't cry
But, but you gone so I see don't why
I shouldn't be spending every single day curled up on my floor
Thats my soul

Yeah I know there'll be times when we'll meet
Get a cup of tea or maybe pass on the streets
And everytime you look into my eyes you'll see I'm living this lie
(just fakin it)

They'll never know
They'll never see
They'll never get through to me, get through to me, get through to me
They'll never know
They'll never see
Coz you are the only one, the only one who ever knew me

-Song from Break ke Baad-

Going all out

2011-04-14T01:18:00.000+10:00

I don't know why I doubt myself. Looking back, I've done some awesome things, many of which I thought impossible, and many of which came by me by chance. If I got the opportunity to achieve all that without trying, I wonder what I could achieve if I set out to?

It's time to stick to my new year resolutions. I made a super long list, and I haven't kept tracked of how many I've actually done. I'm not going to sit here and wait for opportunities to come knocking on my door. Although I must say, they come quite often =P

So, tomorrow (and all the days that come after), I'm going to show the world who I am and what I'm capable off. Watch out world, coz here comes Vijeyatharzhini Bathmanathan! And the list of things she can do is longer than her name! =)

I'm gonna be on TV!!!!!

2011-04-12T17:32:00.000+10:00

I'm gonna be on TV!!!!! Oh, I said that already =P

So, I'm going through the Malaysian Students' Association's enquiries e-mail inbox.. and I stumble upon (more like clicked on) an e-mail from an ABC news reporter (named Caro. She's very sweet) asking for info on international students and the difficulties of finding affordable accommodation in Sydney. So I replied her, saying that I'm international and I can answer your questions. So she calls..

And we chat for around half an hour, and she's like

"Oh thanks Vj, you have been great help, bla,bla... Your English is very good by the way (why thank you =P)....an interview perhaps?...on news, 7pm Friday, short clip.. are you free Thursday morning? We could come by your place..."

Me: ermmm.... yes? (DUH!!!)

Me!! On TV!! AUSTRALIAN tv!!! The NEWS nonetheless!!! Go me!! Go me!!! *chicken dance*

Ok, I have to go tidy up the whole house!!! Bye!! Hope your day was as awesome as mine!!! =)

Fooood =)

2011-04-10T22:56:00.000+10:00

It's our mid semester break!!!! Woohoo!!! N what better way to spend da 1st weekend of break than having a girl's day/night out?

We had the perfect combination, 5 giggly girls, chocolate, sunset by the beach, awesome indonesian food for dinner, and a fireworks show the minute we arrived at darling harbour. Then we had a walk around and stumbled upon nt 1, nt 2, but 3 awesome street shows- a guy on a didgeridoo, a fire juggler, and awesome B-boy-ers!!!

Today, we woke up to a sour start- Econs online quiz =( but after that was over with, we baked muffins, n cupcakes, n cookies, n a chinese savoury mini pie sort of thing. We had pizza for dinner, so you can imagine what the oven has been through today =P

I'm grateful for what (n who) i have now. It couldn't get any better =)

The most eventful rainy day =)

2011-03-19T23:59:00.000+11:00

I opened my eyes to rainy skies this morning.. And although I would normally have smiled and cuddled with my quilt, today I frowned and dragged myself out of bed. Because today is Pangguni Uthiram, and also the 9th day of the Sydney Murugan temple festival. Today we were going to see the chariot!!

The rain postponed our 9 o clock trip to 11. And guess what?? The train station was closed.=.= So onto the bus we went. And all our spirits were drained out by the time we got there..

But when we did... OMG!! The crowd, the smell of food (free food mind you), the size of the chariot, the festive atmosphere of it all.. We were practically squealing when the bus passed by the temple!!!

We had so much peace praying, and so much fun as well!! And did I mention it was raining the whole time?? But that only added to the giggling and laughter and experience =)

Then to a warm home, with strong coffee and more giggles and laughter. Thanks for it all <3

Bittersweet (n spicy =P)

2011-03-13T14:02:00.000+11:00

Life here is awesome so far...

Highlight of the long workload filled week we just had was yesterday's get-together! Picture a bunch of Malaysian students sitting on blankets spread out in our backyard, eating super spicy sambal, with tears in our eyes. That was fun, and happy =) We were up since 8, shopping and cooking and cleaning and preparing. But it was totally worth it... <3 u guys, <3 da experience

Plus,due to my thick face and irrational thinking and the guts to actually do what i irrationally thought of, I am now PR of the Malaysian Students Association here. Don't know what to expect yet, but it'll be so cool to poke your nose around in all the other 'departments'. Sounds just like me =P And another bonus, now heaps of ppl know my name!!! =)

And you know me.. I can never shut up. So the other day I was yapping to my classmate and before we knew it, we were thinking of creating an Indian Cultural Society. Well, what the heck? Why not? What started as a joke may just become reality. BUt I don't know where that's heading just yet...

But all isn't rosy on my part. I miss you. Yes, YOU. The one staring at the screen, all the way from Malaysia. All of you. I miss you guys. I've said it so many times, and yet, I haven't said it enough.

All we do is eat =P

2011-03-10T12:32:00.000+11:00

To all Malaysians in my immediate circle of friends. Saturday is makan day!!! It's still in planning stage, but the highlight of the day is definitely nasi lemak. What do you expect? We're Malaysian after all=P

Other menu items include chicken rendang, kicap chicken for the spice averse, potato wedges (in tomato gravy), agar-agar(if we can find it in eastwood)and cabbage(we havent decided what to do with it yet, but we need to eat veggies =P)

The organising committee(which is me for now =P) is open to any ideas and suggestions on menu items. Since it's theoretically a potluck, you should feel free to cook (buy if you're desperate) anything you'd like to bring along.

The tentative time of the so called party is around 7, but we need people to help out, so get your ass in 116 Balaclava Road after lunch.

Note: There may(or may not be) a certain BBQ by a certain society for some or all Malaysian students. Once we have determined wat in the world the BBQ is about and whether we're invited, we shall confirm the plans for this Saturday.

New friends

2011-03-09T23:54:00.000+11:00

I'm too social for my own good. I just have to talk to people, even if they don't want to talk to me =P My hyperness and clingy-ness to people has often landed me in the middle of very hyper people. And that's great, coz birds of the same feather flock together right?

But how do like minded birds coincidently end up being roommates in a foreign city? How do they turn up at the door step one day as friends of friends? How do they come up to you and say hi? How do they somehow end up in the seat next to you?

People can be so many different things. But now that I'm in new surroundings with a desperate need for new friends, I realised that the best thing people can be is hyper!

Squealing over how we both like the same movies (or the lead actor =P) , bugging each other just for fun, and giggling over nothing. Recognising that the person next to you is a ball of energy just waiting to erupt and spread wacky-ness all around. And making the effort to let them know that you're a nut head too.

Seriously, it's the best thing you can do for yourself =)

18th February 2011

2011-03-07T22:04:00.000+11:00

Things are starting to fall into place. My cousin brother took me to the nearest temple yesterday, and guess what? It’s a Tamil temple!! Woohoo =D And it’s big and beautiful and just perfect. PLUS, there’ll be an annual festival next month, complete with chariot procession and kavadis. Can you imagine that? A chariot procession in Sydney?

Today was academic orientation, and I got an Indian mentor! What are the odds? But there’s nothing really very Indian about him considering he’s been here in Sydney since he was a child = .= But he’s Indian all the same, so yippee for that!

I’ve also settled into my new place! It’s nice and spacious and absolutely wonderful! I love it =")">

Basically, life in Sydney isn’t so bad... It’s actually starting to look pretty good =)

Happy and sad...

2011-02-19T12:52:00.001+11:00

It's great to be given a chance to study overseas. To be able to say proudly, i'm a government scholar. To be able to say I'm Malaysian to the new people you meet everyday. But I don't want to be here. Not now.

My grandmother just passed away. She was actually as family friend, but I knew her since an age when I didn't know the difference of family and friends. She was my Aatha. She babysat me and my sister, and loved us like we were her own. She bit me on the cheek every time she kissed me goodbye. She was my grandmother.

She fell really ill just before I left Malaysia. I went to the hospital to see her and she kissed me goodbye, for the last time. I didn't know its significance then, but now when I look back, my eyes well up at the thought that a person who was too weak to swallow water mustered up the energy to pinch my cheek when she kissed me goodbye.

How much do I love her? I'm sitting in an Everywhere Internet booth in the middle of a mall in Sydney wiping away tears. That's how much I love my grandmother. With no where to express my grief, with no one to talk to, with no way to attend her funeral, the only thing I can do is to tell my blog and its non-existent readers how I feel.

Good bye Aatha <3

Handbook for settling down in Australia

2011-02-12T22:53:00.000+11:00

1. Preferably, first thing to do would be to get to your new house, chat with landlord, take a shower, and SLEEP. Then unpack and explore surroundings.

2. Walk to Uni. Figure out where the International Office is. You'll be going there a lot.

3. Open a bank account. Don't go as a big group. It delays the process. Go in batches, but get it done fast. Don't walk around with all that cash.

4. Get a bank statement and walk straight to the nearest Vodafone outlet. Get a capped phone plan. Once again, don't go in a big group.

5. Go back home and figure out how to use your new phone. Read up on your plan terms and rates.

6. You'll be hungry according to Malaysian time for awhile. This means you'll be hungry 3 hours before standard meal times. Buy some food to snack on and try to stick to meal times to adjust body clock.

7. You'll be receiving lots of brochures and orientation programs and enrolment appointments. Enter all information into your brand new phone under calendars. Make a new to do list and key in notes to remember stuff.

8. Once you've done that, you can get rid of (recycle) all the aforementioned brochures and programs.

9. You'll have to do a lot of stuff online. These include netbanking, Tax File Number, e-student, OSHC card, registering with MSD and joining facebook pages for International students and Uni services. Make a detailed list, sit in front of your lappie and get it all done. Preferably on your first weekend, coz you won't have anything to do. Remember all passwords.

10.Find out where you can print, scan and photocopy stuff. Check out postal services and rates to send or receive stuff from back home.

11.Talk to students. If you don't, you'll never understand the accent. International students and ISS staff are more understanding of your language restrictions. Once you've got the hang of it, you can start yapping to everyone! =)

More to come! I'm moving into a new place next week, so I'll be writing about tenancy and house rules and housemates and settling in.

Life down under

2011-02-11T18:10:00.000+11:00

So I landed in Australia on the morning of 9th Feb. Everything's going good so far. I'm ditching the current place I'm living in for a cheaper place a couple of blocks down the road. And another plus! I'll be staying with 4 of my friends from Malaysia!!! We haven't even moved in, but it feels like home already =) The bus stop is right at the front gate (not exaggerating) And two of our other guy friends are next door! I sense some 'reunion' dinners already =P

Macquarie Uni is pretty awesome, except for being humongous and a bit on the ancient side. You can't help but feel rustic around campus. All we do around here is walk, walk, and walk some more. But that's only because we aren't familiar with road names and bus routes, besides the fact that we're too shy to ask the drivers =P

We went for our first orientation session today, and we met Mr Joshua Dymock from International Students Services. He reminds me a bit of Mr Yee. Wacky, humorous and has a fun vibe. I like him already. He's also my Student Advisor (Yippee!)

So, the whole bunch of us have registered online for enrolment. On the 14th, (yes, on Valentines) we've start enrolling and picking units, and working out timetables. What a romantic way to spend the day!! =P

Oh, and people here are really awesome! We get down from the plane and we get FREE lunch from the Malaysian Student Department. Our seniors invite us over for FREE dinner( their pastas were so delicious ) The International Student Services give out FREE Pizza Lunches (only from 10th-12th Feb). And I got to eat Malaysian Indian food at my cousin's place (obviously that's FREE too). And we're also getting free breakfast on Valentines because some department is launching some program (seriously, who cares =P)

I'm finally getting a feel of summer, and it's not a feeling I like. HOT!!!! And please bear in mind that I'm from Malaysia! If I say it's hot, it's HOT. (wipes off sweat from forehead)

Another beginning

2011-01-05T04:50:00.001+11:00

I was a different person in school, and I was a different person in university. Now that I'm crossing over to Australia, I'm getting another chance to better myself and be someone else. It's all a bit exciting (ok, it's a LOT exciting =P) and I can see how easy it will be to get overwhelmed with the whole experience.

For now, I have a new list of resolutions for 2011 and for my new beginning abroad. Let's overlook the fact that I'm probably not gonna get to half of em shall we? ;P

1. Study more (yeah right)

2. Jump into clubs and societies ASAP. I lost too many valuable experiences here.

3. Learn how to say No. Effectively. In a way people will listen.

4. Improve cooking skills. My culinary skills are enough for my survival, but I plan to get married someday. And I don't plan to scare my husband with my cooking =P

5. Maintain my Indian identity in Australia. Not fanatically or anything, I just don't wanna change some things.

6. Not get into trouble. This one's terribly hard, but I'll have to try =P

7. Enrol in a dance class. Anything. Latin, Ballroom, Waltz, Kathak, New Jazz, Bollywood, ANYTHING. I just wanna dance again. I love it too much =)

8. Become a serious debater. I was one in school, then I settled in the background in college. I think I'm ready for tournaments again. Here I come!!

9. Start writing again. This is another thing I miss doing. Over time, what was once my passion has become a past time. I wanna start writing again. If nothing else, at least on this blog.

10. Catch up with old friends. Classmates, PKTR, INTI. Family friends. I wanna track them down and make small talk once in awhile.

That's it for now I guess. A few months on, I'll dig up this post in the archives and make a mental checklist of what I've managed to accomplish and what I've neglected. Bye for now, non-existent readers! Stay posted as I embark on my journey to maturity and independence =)

Told you so =P

2010-10-29T14:17:00.000+11:00

Remember when we (i really mean you guys =P) were dissatisfied with a certain lecturer? Remember when you guys were so concerned about your marks in future? Remember when I had to listen to persuasive compositions to agree with you? Remember when I was blamed for mixing my personal life with academics? Remember when I was the minority, begging for you to stop? Well, from today onwards, I'll remember the day the whole class was silent when Mr Yee cited the above example to tell us to be sensitive and I walked away guilt free.

Not meant to make you feel guilty or anything, but I thought I should tell you that since we collectively made him frustrated with trying to cope, the aforementioned lecturer is now the proud owner of a Shisha Bar in Cempaka. Drop by some day will ya?? =P

Street Party 2010 =)

2010-10-28T21:23:00.000+11:00

Had heaps and heaps and heaps of fun. Thanks to everyone who was part of it =) I know I don't say this much, but you guys make a difference, and I really do appreciate those random moments... Even if we are just acquaintances with mutual friends and even if I'm not really sure what your name is =P

Had an awesome dancefloor, and I guess my goody two shoes image is well down the drain now =P But oh, well... I'm leaving in awhile anyway.. so why not go all out eh? ;)

And to that random guy who joined our group, although I found your act a bit desperate and weird last night.. looking back, you actually gave me memories and boy, were you having fun... =D

Point is, I realised that you don't need a fancy club or a pro DJ. You don't even have to be good at dancing. You don't even have to know who those people are... As long as they're all hyped up and having a jolly good time, dancing in the middle of the road can turn out to be pretty awesome =)

I wanna be home!!!!!! =(

2010-10-25T15:52:00.000+11:00

Deepavali is in 12 days... Now is the time to bake cookies, make Indian sweets and Murukkus, start planning a Kolam, hunt down accessories for the new outfits you bought, keep bugging your tailor to finish your Saree blouse, go bargain hunting for everything Indian, and make the whole house look festive!!!!!

I, on the other hand, am in INTI-IU, trying desperately to come to terms with the fact that my finals are in 7 days =(

To top it off, I'll be in uni on Deepavali Eve!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No fireworks and dancing and food and friends!!!!!!Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!

*This post was sparked by my mum's phone call this morning, telling me how sad she was that I wasn't home like I used to be, and how nobody will help her make Murukkus like I used to. Thanks very much for 'making' my day Amma =(

Keep your racist opinions to yourself please...

2010-10-13T18:49:00.000+11:00

A BLONDE, blue-eyed beauty queen is the latest focus of a racism row in New Zealand after she was accused of "not looking Indian enough" following her victory in the Miss IndiaNZ beauty title.

The 21-year-old, Jacinta Lal, who has a Fiji Indian father and a New Zealand mother, was booed by spectators when she won the Wellington pageant in April - and the case recently came to light in the wake of the resignation of a television presenter embroiled in allegations of racism, the New Zealand Herald said.

Award organiser Dharmesh Parikh told the newspaper he had received complaints questioning Lal's eligibility to be in the pageant - and there were also "raised eyebrows" when she competed for the national title in August.

Miss Lal said she had heard people saying that she "wasn't Indian-looking enough to win the pageant".

Miss Lal said there was no difference between what Mr Henry said and the members of the Indian community who criticised her win.Mr Parikh said the case highlighted that racism cut both ways, in the wake of the resignation of TVNZ broadcaster Paul Henry over comments about Governor-General Sir Anand Satyanand not "looking like a New Zealander" and his mocking of Delhi chief minister Sheila Dikshit's name.

"They are all wrong and should not say things like that," she said.

The Henry case, along with reports of an Australian inquiry into racist emails being circulated by police officers, have made headlines in major Indian newspapers and inflamed diplomatic tensions.

How do you define 'looking Indian'?? She is Indian, for God's sake!!! I don't know about you, but I would get really pissed off if someone said I didn't look Malaysian enough, simply because I AM, regardless of how I look...

This angers me, being the cheap Indian that I am =P

2010-10-13T18:45:00.000+11:00

TAXPAYERS fork out more than $21 million a year to pay almost 200 surplus teachers while hundreds of schools are left short.

Falling student numbers or curriculum changes have resulted in some schools having extra teachers.

The cost of retaining an extra teacher in a NSW high school is $107,119 a year, it was revealed yesterday in a Budget estimates document.

At the same time, schools across western and southwestern Sydney, including at Doonside, Glenmore Park, Birrong and Airds, are down more than one teacher.

Education Minister Verity Firth's spokeswoman said teachers happily moved between schools in Sydney but it was often hard to attract them to country areas.

She said surplus teachers took classes and continued working while their transfers were arranged.

Opposition education spokesman Adrian Piccoli said extra teachers, dubbed by the government as "over-establishment" teachers, had insufficient work to do.

"The parents of children attending schools with vacant teaching positions will no doubt be concerned to hear that the Keneally Government is spending about $20 million each year on teachers at schools that do not have sufficient work for them," Mr Piccoli said.

"Verity Firth needs to explain why over 40 secondary schools in NSW are short of at least two teachers when there are so many teachers available to fill those positions," he added.

There are almost 250 schools without a much-needed teacher.

Ms Firth's spokeswoman said most surplus teachers were moved within a year. She said it was rare it would take more than 12 months to transfer a teacher and denied the cost per year would be as high as $21 million.

A record 71,000 students will sit the HSC this year.

The exam period begins tomorrow, with business studies, classical Greek, Arabic and agriculture the first subjects tested.

All remaining students will begin their exams on Friday, with the first English exams.

Can't wait... =)

2010-10-04T16:13:00.000+11:00

Friday

End of trials

4-5 hour journey home

Temple

Navrathri

Friends, Food, Fun

Content

The perception of a relationship

2010-10-03T00:55:00.000+10:00

If you feel attracted to a handsome/ pretty looking person, and you finally end up in a relationship with them, is that true love? If you had given a less attractive person a chance and the same time and attention, would you have eventually coupled up?

Can love really be blind? Is it possible to fall in love at first sight with a unattractive person? Is it hypocritical to love someone who is innocent and loyal when you're a player yourself? Is it possible for the loyal person to accept your past flings?

Is love, and attraction enough to make a marriage work? Can marriage work without love? Will a married couple eventually fall in love? Will they fall out of love? Can they still remain together long after the love is gone?

Are you in a relationship now? Why did you couple up? Were you friends before? Did you immediately feel attracted to him/her? Did you suddenly develop romantic feelings? Do you know why you love him/her or do you just feel that way?

Is love rational at all? Or is it something that shouldn't be analysed; like why we yawn when we're bored? Okay, that last bit was just random.

Dancing the night away =)

2010-09-29T20:37:00.000+10:00

I miss dancing, or maybe I miss my dancing friends. Anyhow, I'm glad I'm doing it again. But unfortunately, during my last 2 months in INTI...T.T When I get to Australia (Insya Allah n all other Gods up there coz I'm polytheist =P) I want to get right into it. Maybe walk into the Indian Cultural Society and scream "I'm a dancer!!! Make me perform!!!"

It's just so much fun you know... The memories especially. Messing up on stage and acting like nothing happened, dressing up and accessorising, choreographing especially. The best part? It's good for you!!!

When I've been dancing for quite awhile, people always say my face looks fresh somehow, despite the layers of sweat. And you always feel good when you've been sweating it out. I get all hyped up and happy inside. It's a feeling I can't explain. You bond with your dance partners, and often make new friends (something I absolutely love =D). You kinda become famous overnight, and although the fame is short-lived, it still feels nice =P

You guys should all start now if you haven't been dancing. There's definitely a dance for you. If you like order, get into line dancing, or cultural dances with counts. If you're absolutely hopeless with counts (like me) get into Indian dancing!!! Bhangra, Bollywood, Tamil folk, Classical, Contemporary, the list goes on.

You don't have to be good at it, cause unless you're on stage, nobody's judging you. Have fun. Turn the lights down, music up and hit the dance floor with besties. I'll buy you dinner if you didn't have fun...

Lessons on surviving the stupid things you choose to do

2010-09-28T20:21:00.000+10:00

My 'tactics' to staying alive and sane despite being too active in everything but studies.

1. I keep reminding myself that I shouldn't be doing what I am currently doing. It doesn't change my mind, but sometimes it stops me from doing further stupid things. Eg: I shouldn't be hanging out now because I already feel guilty of dancing half the night away.

2.Write yourself lots of notes and post-its. Check them every night. Act immediately on things which say "Deadline is tomorrow!!"

3. Pretend to read even if you don't feel like it. Eventually you'll get bored of pretending and you'll start reading anyway =P

4. Set your alarm text as "Finals!!!". This kills two birds at once. You get so alarmed (pun intended) in the morning that you'll wake up and start the day with the mind set that you've got lots of work to do...

5. Keep a blog like this so that when you distracted, you can crap and rant. Read classmate's blogs to realize that they're going through the same things as you. This helps a lot in the sanity part.

P.S: While typing #4, I got a call and I just agreed to perform for a SECOND event this Thursday.

I don't suppose this counts as news =P

2010-09-28T12:53:00.000+10:00

My horoscope in the Daily Telegraph (online)

'Who dares, wins.' This is, of course, not always true. Sometimes, if you dare, you fail miserably. You make a right old hash of things. But at least you have the excitement of being daring. We can argue that, in a world full of dull conformists, the only way for any of us to win is to dare to be different. Life is now inspiring you to make a somewhat risky decision. Despite a fear or misgiving, the plan you pursue next is sure to have a constructive outcome. You can't have it all your own way - but you can get a lot of what you want. The cosmic blueprint of your life was written in code across the sky at the moment you were born.

I dare to go dancing the night away since last week. I am making a risky decision of performing for two events this week n will probably attend an extra one. I'll get a lot of what i want. Someone please remind me my trials are coming. Actually they're waiting at the door.

Aussie news: Banning the Burqa

2010-09-23T17:31:00.000+10:00

A MURAL urging governments to outlaw the burqa has appeared in the trendy inner-city suburb of Newtown.

Local artist Sergio Redegalli painted the "Say no to burqas" sign on the outside of workshop this week to start a debate about the practice of wearing face-covering veils.

Redegalli said burqas and niqabs are symbols of religious extremism and were becoming more prevalent in Australia.

He said the image was not anti-Muslim, anti-Islam or anti-women.

"If you let it [the practice of covering your face] go, someone, somewhere down the line will say we would like Sharia Law," he said.

Mr Redegalli said the image has already been defaced twice since he began painting it on Monday.

Mr Redegalli also drives a ute with stickers on the front saying "Australians have nothing to hide, say no to burqas".

About 2000 Muslims held a peaceful protest in Lakemba last Saturday, angered by growing local and international pressure to restrict the wearing of veils in public.

The rally was a response to recent bans in Europe and two failed attempts by Christian Democratic Party MP Fred Nile to have a Bill banning burqas and other face veils in public introduced in the NSW Legislative Council.

As for me; i think this whole issue is nonsensical. If Western women can walk around in their underwear, then Muslim women can wear the Burqa. As far as security and identity issues are concerned, God gave us unique fingerprints for a reason you doofuses.

I'm Malaysian =)

2010-08-31T22:25:00.000+10:00

Because my neighbours back home are Chinese.

Because my favourite teachers aren't Indian.

Because my housemate is Chinese.

Because my dentist is Malay.

Because my favourite tailor is Punjabi.

Because my homestay parents don't treat me as Indian.

Because I wore a baju kurung at school.

Because I have another sitting in my closet now.

Because I get ang paus for Chinese New Year.

Because my favourite breakfast is nasi lemak.

Because I speak wit 'la' n 'mah'.

Because I mostly eat either Chinese, Malay or Western food at college.

Because I speak more English than Tamil at home.

Because none of the above matters =)

Pile of post-its

2010-08-26T20:12:00.000+10:00

That's my life for now. A pile of fluorescent post its, mounting up on my notice board. And they're multiplying faster than I can rip them off =(

Scenario 1

Test!! Study, study, study. Sit for test. Yippeee!!!!! Look at notice board. Shit!! Another one 2moro. Start all over again =.=

Scenario 2

Phone rings...

"You do remember that you have a recently widowed aunty living 10 minutes away rite? You do realize that she's depressed rite now? You know, she really would love it if you dropped by once in awhile..."

*Look at post it pile* "I'm kinda busy,ma..."

What if I get buried under that pile of fluorescent sticky notes? What if I cant reach ur expectations? What if I find them insanely high?? What if....

I Luv Me!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-08-23T20:12:00.000+10:00

Ms Dil, if you're reading this, I hope by the end of this post you'll agree with me that skipping that ENL class was worth it =P

My cousin sister got married!!!!!! I just love weddings =) The deco, the food, the people, the dancing and me!!!!! I love being the center of attention. And I love it that at the end of the day everyone wants to know "Who's daughter is that girl?" (Make some space for my big fat pride =P)

Ok, ok, I'll slow down.

Friday

11am: Left INTI for KL

1.30pm :Lunch, clean up a bit, pack.

4pm: Left to Klang

6pm: Get dressed, run around, help people get dressed and run around for them too.

7pm: Cousin sister's Sangeet!!!! Kalpana is gettin married to a half Punjabi dude. Hence, I finally get to experience a Sangeet first hand =) If you're still blur, go google it la...

Why I was the star of the night.... =P

Well, I helped baby sit while the mums were tying their sarees and getting the food out and etc.. Soon, I was running around the house with the kids and snapping pictures and basically doing stunts. A couple of thankful mums told my mum how sweet her daughter is. *cough, cough*

Then, once the Punjabi aunties started singing, I was clapping and singing along to some of the Hindi songs I knew. They were so impressed =P See Mum? It's a good thing I'm addicted to Hindi movies....

Soon, the aunties wanted people to dance to their songs. My pleasure. It took a bit coaxing from my mum, but soon I was pulling cousins and aunties and uncles to dance with me.

Then, dinner is served. This is my favourite part. Okay, actually after dinner is my favourite part. The dance floor!!!!! Needless to say, I got noticed after awhile. Even discovered some hidden talent among the younger kids along the way. God, those kids can groove!!

And oh, when it was time to leave, my new found friends on the dance floor were literally hugging me good bye. The best part? Kalpana akka's wedding reception is next Saturday. Yippee!!!

Point is, I love weddings. Because that's when I realise how much I love me!!! =)

No more caffeine!!!!!!!!!!!! Puhleeeeeeezzzzzzzz!!

2010-07-30T12:52:00.001+10:00

Next time you see me buy coffee, slap me!! ok, don't slap la.. because i know i'm gonna do it.. But at least try talking me out of it please? =P

I seriously need help!!!! I'm up till late at night, then snooze my alarm 100 n 1 times in the morning. Due to all the practice, I've learnt to do it in my sleep!!! And the consequences are bad!!!

I've lost my spot in the front row of Econs 4 times!!!! Like FOUR times!! And I'm not even LATE!! I can't stand it any longer... Help me puhleeeeez!!!!!

And you know why I need help so badly? Because when I finally decided to be firm and NOT buy coffee, I bought Ice Lemon Tea. Same difference. My body knows caffeine when it sees it =.=

r we mere acquaintances??

2010-07-28T14:37:00.000+10:00

i'm feeling kind of profound today... so i wont rant or complain or crap today. Ok, so maybe I'll crap a little=P

People think I have many friends... Contrary to popular believe, this is NOT true. I talk to everyone, I greet strangers in the corridor if I feel like it, n when I get hyper I say crazy stuff to random ppl. But it doesnt mean they're all my friends.

I have classmates, coursemates, ppl I know through debate, ppl I know through the council, ppl I met at CC6, LTC, INTIMUN, INTIMA, GLA, Sanskriti, ICS nite, n da list goes on... I've met ppl through mutual friends, even when out for dinner with some.I've hundreds and hundreds of acquaintances!! Doesnt mean we're friends=.=

But friends are the ones I'll cry for when I leave INTI. Friends are the ones I'm already emo-ing for because they're on sem break or becoz they might get a stint with MAS. Friends are the ones who keep me hyper while I'm emo-ing for the above. Friends are the ppl I'm thinking about as I type this post.

R u my friend?? M i urs??

n life goes on...

2010-07-27T00:09:00.000+10:00

My uncle passed away on Sunday morning. He died a delirious man under medication. He died in a hospital stinking of medicine and antibacterial floor cleaner. He died leaving behind my aunt and my 9 year old cousin.

He was an annoying man. Always bullying me, always talking crap. He talks to me in Telugu, which I don't understand, because I have his mum's name. And hence, according to him, I should know her mother tongue. He loves asking me questions I don't know the answer to. He loves telling me the answers.He insisted that Prithiv, his son, address him by name. He insisted that his wife learn to drive although she was terrified of driving.

Today, we cremated that annoying man. We sent him off with lots of tears and some snot. Funny how all the annoying things he did were the ones that set my tear ducts off.

But, it's even funnier that the moment the coffin left the house, all the tearful ladies had to wipe off their salty drops and put on a brave front. There was work to be done. The food set out, the house swept and mopped down, the kids bathed. All the prayer paraphernalia had to be washed and dried and set up again. When the men came back from the crematorium, they had lunch. More work for the ladies. We had to clear the food and remnants and leftovers.

Everyone moved like clockwork. No one said anything about the man we just sent off in a hearse. Even his tearful widow joined in the orderly chaos. In less than 4 hours, I'm back in college, in the middle of a meeting. Life went on. It had to.

My wall is crumbling

2010-07-23T07:15:00.000+10:00

It took a lot of effort to build. It took some ignorance, some care, some reality, some illusions. But it's built. Maybe it's imperfect. But it's mine. My wall. Held together with all those tiny bits of pieces. Fragile, I agree. But not weak.

Once in awhile, I run my fingers through this wall of mine, and my fingers get stuck in those little imperfections, the cracks and holes in the wall. I feel a wave of sadness, of nostalgia, because all these imperfections have stories behind them. Memories that are now embedded in this wall of mine.

I consider mending them, and have considered many times before actually. But I cant bring myself to do so. My eyes get blurred. And actually, that's also part of what holds my wall together. All those tears and sweat and laughter. Lots and lots of laughter. Echoing through the bricks.

Now, it going to crumble. It will have to. I knew that all along. It's still standing now. But all I can see now is the rubble. And in it, I see me.

Have I let you guys down?? =(

2010-07-20T00:26:00.000+10:00

It was a night of cam whoring and mixed emotions. I felt so weird when we got back to college. Installation night was meant to celebrate our 14th council and welcome the 15th, but I wasn't ready to move aside just yet.

It's hard to imagine that I'm no more in the picture. Well, I still am, but not officially anymore. It hit me when we were talking to Wu Yao and suddenly he said " Next time you come in, you can go look for XXX for help. Please support them ah?" At that moment, I realised that INTIMA is never going to be the INTIMA I know. I can't crash on their couch anymore. No more movie nights. No more ordering McD for the whole office. No more freezing in President's office. No more pillow fights. No more sweet Wu Yao running to find you a stapler. No more Shehan saying "Yes, VJ??" in an annoyed tone although he's not. No more Jao in his shorts and slippers. No more grumpy Yat Sin underneath his pile of paperwork. No more crazy Qin Le being crazy. They'll still be around, some of them. But it's not the same anymore.

And you know what's on the top of my emo pile right now? I got nominated for Best Vice-Chairperson. My club is dying, committee blur, 15th term committee inexistent, and I got nominated. To add to it, an almost tearful Justin comes to thank you for keeping his club alive. Talk about guilt!!

Sorry for letting you guys down, but I promise you that Renu and I will get the club running again, at least by the time I fly.

Installation Night!!!!!!!!!!

2010-07-17T00:12:00.001+10:00

Tickets. Check.

Deposit for bus ride. Check.

Dress. Check.

Shawl. Check. (Thanks to Macy =D)

Shoes. Check.

Appointment to do our hair. Check.

Accessories. Ermm... half a check.

Finances to go shopping for the other half tomorrow. Check.

I would like to take this opportunity to convey my heartfelt gratitude to JPA. *tearing* And of course, to all responsible taxpayers out there. I could never have done it without you. *sob, sob*

Scandalous, interesting and somewhat related piece of Aussie news =P

2010-07-13T12:56:00.000+10:00

Fadi Ibrahim's fiancee Shayda Bastani arrested at Sydney International Airport

WITH a first class ticket still in her hand, Fadi Ibrahim's model fiancee was charged over an alleged murder plot after being arrested at Sydney Airport last night.

Shayda Bastani, who became engaged to nightclub baron John Ibrahim's younger brother on Valentine's Day, was detained about 5pm before she boarded a Malaysia Airlines flight to Kuala Lumpur.

Police questioned the 23-year-old and later charged her over an alleged murder plot to avenge the near-fatal shooting of Fadi, 35.

While being questioned, she told police that she was pregnant.

Police allege Fadi, Bastani and four other men plotted to kill Sydney man John Macris, a former Ibrahim family associate who they allegedly believed was behind the attempted assassination of Fadi last June. It is understood the case against Bastani will centre on the evidence of a witness and a single piece of forensic material.

Bastani was shot in the thigh.Bastani helped save Fadi's life when he was shot five times as they sat in a $500,000 black Lamborghini outside his Castle Cove home.

Yesterday she was taken from the airport to Mascot Police Station - Fadi remained at home because of a court-imposed 8.30pm curfew.

Her relatives and Ibrahim family members arrived at the station as Bastani was charged with one count of conspiracy to murder.

Bail was refused and she was taken to Waverley Police Station last night to be held for court today.

Her arrest follows months of investigations by the Middle Eastern organised crime squad's Strike Force Bellwood, set up to examine the activities of Ibrahim family members including Fadi.

Detectives had first tried to arrest Bastani at Fadi's mansion yesterday morning - Fadi was home but his fiancee wasn't.

Her flight to Kuala Lumpur had been delayed past its 2pm departure time. The return ticket she had was between Sydney and Malaysia.

It's unknown if she had planned to travel onwards.

In September, Fadi Ibrahim was arrested and charged along with his youngest brother Michael, Rodney "Goldie" Atkinson, Sid Habkouk and Amerigo Gerace with conspiring to kill Mr Macris.

Fadi and Michael Ibrahim are fighting the charges.

Mr Macris has not been charged, nor is suspected, and denies any involvement in the shooting.

He is the brother of Alex Macris, an alleged associate of inner-city pseudo-bikie group Notorious formed about two years ago.

None of the men has yet entered a plea on the conspiracy to murder charge. They will face court again later this month.

Do something!!!

2010-07-07T03:38:00.000+10:00

Life is about memories. Memories are important to me. They don't necessarily have to be sweet, as long as they are worth remembering over the years. It's been a year since I started tertiary education in INTI. Out of boredom and also curiosity (of how far have I achieved my objectives), I compiled this list of things I've done in INTI that are worthy memories...

1. Debate Society

The first and also the best thing I've done. Made a bunch of international friends (Intima people) in the 2nd week of college. Somehow became committee in the 4th week. All of a sudden I'm vice-chair, and under pressure to resuscitate the club. Someday, I'll tell my grandkids about the African-Indian who speaks 6 languages and the Sri-Lankan who studied in the UAE.

2. Leadership Training Camp (LTC)

Brought about by Debate. Got me closer to the people I knew through debate and also got me LOTS of friends. LTC was the BEST!!! And I even found out that Tehsin was a brotherly kind of guy =)

3. International Cultural Night

Didn't really do much. Helped Anna in selling tickets and was a helper during the event. That's why so many SAM students came I guess, I kept promoting the tickets =P Learnt that dressing up is worth it. I was chosen last minute to be one of the ones serving VIPs. Had an awesome dance floor that night, but it was a bit hard to jump from group to group since I wanted to dance with ALL my friends (SAM, Intima, JPA seniors, Debate)

4.Dance class!!

Discovered New Jazz and a couple of Chinese songs. And of course, made more friends =) Had fun!! Too bad 2nd sem was too busy for that=(

5. AUP party

Well, since I hang out with AUP people all the time, it made sense at the time. Another awesome dance floor, but ended too soon...

6. Buddy Week

Busy nights, busy days, lots of work. Was screaming in the concourse for a few days. But was rewarded with a BIG feast in Al-Salam. Plus all of us got hampers and biscuits and chocolates from profits. More smiley moments captured on camera during the celebration =)

7.INTIMUN

Joined to get a glimpse of what KLIMUN will be like. MUN stands for Model United Nations, so basically we model UN conferences. I was a securitary. My job was to pass notes between delegates (becoz they're not allowed to talk during meetings). My job enabled me to stay in the lecture theater and watch the delegate dtalk and debate and argue. Got a LOT of general knowledge, some experience, and lots of friends!!

8.INTI BALL!!!!!!!!!!

First ball. Had fun. great dance floor, great dancing partners, bad timing people!!!! We were literally dancing in the waiting area while my friends were waiting for the bus (which came late btw) Please note the ball was smack in the middle of my finals. I think that made me have more fun at the ball =P

9.ICS night

I am not even a member, but somehow, due to my big mouth and kind-heartedness, I ended up skipping an Econs class to help them do the kolam for the night. Was fun only because of the people, not really the event. Made more friends, of course. But didn't dance becoz the dance floor was conquered by Indian guys.

10. Childrens' Camp 6

Definitely most memorable. My group got Myanmar kids who are refugees. We talked sign language, did stunts, had a lot of fun. All our kids (n me ) cried during the 3rd and last day of camp. It was very hard to say goodbye. I'll probably go visit their school someday. This one, boy.... made 100 something new friends, but I can't recognise all of them (unless you're wearing the CC6 t-shirt =P)

11. Coming agendas...

O night, Sanskriti, Golden Lecturers' Award (in progress), tutoring under CCC, Buddy Week, KLIMUN, and most probably more...

I am making full use of my term in INTI, and I am not regretting a single second of it. What have you been up to??

i'll try, but that's all i can do...

2010-07-06T13:24:00.000+10:00

Picture this: Since you were 5, you were held as a child prodigy of miniature scales and everyone's amused at how smart you are. You go to school and charm all your teachers, and they say you're such a pleasure to teach. Your friends demand private tutoring sessions and that makes you feel even smarter. Every student in your school knows you and all the juniors are proud to say they're your friends (eventhough I only count them as acquaintances, but let's not break any hearts shall we?) Your school has high hopes on you, and you finally do well like they expected. You get a scholarship, lots of prize money (not to mention publicity), and a trophy that the school lost to ACS (rival school) like 10 years ago and is still fighting for.

Now picture this: Ok fine, you get a scholarship. Good for you. Or so you thought. 2nd week of college you sort of get into the debate gang. Good? Nope. They continuously mock and ridicule you for being a JPA scholar, they whine about how their parents' tax money goes to knuckleheads like you, they complain that someone as worthy as themselves didn't get anything. Somehow, you decide to live with it.

Then, you find out your classmates are hardworking students who actually worked for the scholarship, unlike yourself. And they go on to kick your ass at every subject, quiz, test, assignment. Then, you find out the hard way, that you'll have to work for it too. Plus, you've never bothered about exams in your life, and are finding it a little bit hard to start doing so now. And to top it ALL off, you get 2 Bs in your first semester. The worst part is, one of those Bs is for English!! Of all subjects in the world!!!

After somehow surviving college for 2 semesters, you come to your third. Your friends (from AUP who pray they pass their papers) are calling you ungrateful for whining about the one B you got. On the other hand, your mom is trying to be as consoling as possible, which further rubs in the fact that it's not normal for you to get a B. The thought of comparing results hasn't crossed your mind yet (because seriously, I don't need more reasons to be upset) but you're already feeling dumb.

NOW, picture this: Your lecturers are disappointed in you. Like all that self pity isn't enough already. I am sorry for letting you down, but please treat me normal. I know you've given me your all and you totally have the right to have expectations. And I really want to do better. I DO. I am trying, but I am who I am. I am not happy with that person, but I have no choice but to accept it as me.

I am me no matter what you say. I am me even if you don't say.

Myanmar kids are da best!!!

2010-06-28T14:06:00.000+10:00

I went for the Children's Camp (or is it Childrens'?) organised by Leo club this weekend and had a BLAST!!! I waas a facilitator for the kids and obviously it was tiring...

We were up before the kids and we could only sleep after they did. But then again, we went for our shower and supper and stuff like that after they fell asleep, meaning we didn't get much sleep after all =P

God, I dunno what they feed those kids!! They have so much energy and all of them are constantly bursting to the seams with excitement and hyperness. The kids in my group were less verbal though. That's because they're Myanmar refugees and thus, the communication barrier (maybe it was a blessing in disguise =P)

The 15 kids in my group come from 2 different hoomes, but they stick together like glue, probably because of their common nationality. But guess what?? Although our 2 Myanmar students (Bom n Linda) can speak Burmese, they still can't understand what the kids say to each other! Because they have other ethnic languages. And their names!! Their names on their tag and the name they introduce themselves as are TOTALLy different. There's Mung Pi, and Langh Pip, and Thuang and a few more I don't remember =P

But the Christian ones have Christian names (Jenny, Lily, Joe, Jeremy, Happy, Rebecca, David, Francis, and Mary). but they still pronounce it very differently, so when we call them they look at us like we're pronouncing their name all wrong =)

The camp was for 3 days and 2 nights, so I can write pages, and pages, and pages... But I will just let you guys get the rest of the story through pics on facebook =P

When feeling a bit more in the mood to write about it, I'll post on our Goodbye session which was full of T.T.... Look out for it k?

Things i learnt this holidays...

2010-06-24T17:18:00.000+10:00

Don't watch wonderful movies with people (especially a 20 something guy) from India. They just don't get it=.=
Always buy MORE popcorn. It's never enough.
If coming home to a house kept locked for months, you'll have lots of wiping and mopping to do =(
Your hometown doesn't stay the same =(
Satay sold for 40 cents a stick in Sitiawan tastes MUCH better than the expensive ones in KL/Nilai.
Waiters in mamak shops never forget their regulars =)
Never rear peacocks!! They're noisy!!
Indian 'keropoks' aren't processed in a factory of any sort. They're packed by bored teenagers back home on a semester break.
Busy adults wake up around the time I go to bed =P
Even 80+ year olds love ice cream =)
Travelling from Batu Gajah to KL makes my butt numb (with all that sitting in the train...)
The numbness goes away after you run up and down stairs in Sentral.
Running up and down stairs makes me tired...
Always ask people in the Nilai KTM where they're going.
Most of them are going to INTI.
They are more than WILLING to share a cab with you (although you're kinda sweaty by now...)
They're also talkative...
You tend to forget how hyped up your besties are, especially after being in a town like Sitiawan for awhile =P
You tend to forget how addicted you are to your lappie =P
I would wilt up and die without the world wide web to download songs =P

Writer's block

2010-06-22T02:25:00.000+10:00

I came back home for my semester holidays only to find this in my mailbox :(

To recipient of outstanding Manjung District SPM Best Academia

10 year commemorative book

Towards this achievement, we request you to send us the following:-
a coloured photograph of you as a recipient
a short note of encouragement, appreciation, thoughts, reflection, proposals, whatsoever on when you received the prestigious awards and if possible, your thoughts and experience now. Please feel free to write what you want.

And you know the worst thing?? They actually ended the letter with this:

Procrastination is the theft of time. =.=

U make me smile =)

2010-06-04T18:27:00.001+10:00

You are annoying and sometimes the cause behind my workload. Plus, you don't make it any easier for me to do what I have to. You ask silly questions and answer serious ones in a silly way. You can't resist a sarcastic comment and often, a conversation with you makes steam flow out of my ears.

And yet, ironically, the same person who drives me nuts can make me smile for hours thinking of the stuff you do. Be it a simple gesture like sticking your tongue out, or a funny YMCA dance, or a very very retarded Bhangra on stage, you make me smile =)

I'm Indian , be jealous =P

2010-06-04T14:35:00.000+10:00

I have learnt that just because Goldkartz is on the top of the guest artist list for Indian Cultural night doesn't mean they're gonna run the show. And I AM DISAPPOINTED. They didn't let me Bhangra la!!!!

=.= But, I'll live with it. It was my choice to go anyway...

Comments on this post is NOT appreciated...

2010-05-31T03:44:00.000+10:00

Sometimes all we need is some support. Someone to tell us that it's okay if we make mistakes, it's okay to make the wrong choices. All I want is for someone to tell me that they will back me up on my wrong choices and help me make right ones in the future.

And the last thing I need is someone to breathe down my neck and remind me that I'm screwing up. P.S: You're not making it any easier...

It's kinda pathetic when at the end of the day, you have to find your own corner to lick your wounds. And even more pathetic when that corner is in the ladies coach of a train full of strangers. When you're the only person you have to console yourself, you tend to think of all possibilities and boy, can my imagination run wild...

I am trying you know... Trying hard to be the person you think I should be. But it's hard being someone I am not. Give me some time. I'll try to forget my identity...

I am busy

2010-05-26T01:59:00.000+10:00

I thought I was really busy last semester. I was wrong. I just found out the true meaning of being busy.

Me: *Walking back to room after a looooong, tiring day that started at 10am* Hi!!

Floor mate: Good night VJ!!!

=.=

Me: *just coming out of the shower after a much needed bath*

Li Ann: Walking to bathroom to brush teeth and prepare for bed.

=.=

Well, I am busier this semester...

I know I shouldn't

2010-05-22T02:04:00.000+10:00

I need to get more sleep. Please note I said more, and not enough. Because for now, enough sleep is near impossible.

Oh, yeah, by the way; sorry if I was cranky, or raised my voice, or ignored you, or looked really blur today. It was one of those days... And I am SOOOOO annoyed with certain people but the thing is they are in a position where I can't confront them nor tell them that they are being the jerks they are.

And, next week!!! I think I'll apologise in advance for all my crankyness next week. It's exhibition week, meaning no time, no proper meals, no voice, and absolutely no hyperness. There's the jamboree on Wednesday, meaning no time, no sleep, and yes, no hyperness. Inter campus is coming and I hope I won't have anything to do with it, but being the nice person I am, I offered to pitch in if they were desperate. let's just hope they aren't...

P.S: I just realised I changed my no ranting on my blog policy. Now I think I rant the most among all my friends =.=

Why am I doing this??!!

2010-05-19T18:02:00.000+10:00

I am a selfish, greedy, irrational, crazy girl who can't make decisions best for her biological self.

The only reason I am going to go for that council meeting in 30 minutes is because I am soooooooo greedy for the certificate. But, really. No other club is going to give you a Vice post in your first semester... See? There I go again. Justifying my stupid decision.

I shouldn't have said yes in the last semester to begin with. (Technically, I wasn't asked, but I could have turned it down if I wanted to) And I shouldn't have stayed around even after experiencing the workload and stress. Or I should have quit when I witnessed the club die. Or at least when everyone was considering quiting their posts.

But no. I kept talking myself back into it every time I bring up the topic to my right side of the brain. Maybe I should get it oiled, or serviced, or replaced if it's possible. And you know the worst part?? Here I am, fully aware of all the reasons I should NOT be doing this, and yet I am keeping an eye on the clock to make sure I will be on time.

You know what's my problem?? (Pls do NOT answer that question =P) I am too nice to people. Can't say no. That's why I got into the debate team. That's why I agreed to be in the committee. That's why I am sitting here ranting now.

Well, toodles. I have a meeting to attend =.=

Argumentative essay draft 1 (Effects of television viewing)

2010-05-18T02:34:00.000+10:00

The idiot box has long been criticised for being a distraction from the more productive and beneficial aspects of modern living. But if the television really is such a bad invention, why do ‘more than ninety per cent of households in developed countries have at least one television set’ (Sharif 1999, p.34)? There surely must be an explanation as to why full-time working adults of the United Kingdom spend more hours a day on watching television as compared to other leisure time activities (UK Time Use Survey 2000). The answer is apparent. Television viewing, either extensive or moderate, goes hand in hand with formal education for children, increases social aptitude and is an effective, easy way to de-stress.

It has been proven that television programs can be used as an educational tool. The success of the television as a teaching aid is linked to its audio-visual characteristics, as children are by nature more perceptive to things they have seen and heard rather than just words on paper (Leigh 2001). Therefore, unlike conventional books, the television possesses the power and ability to gain and maintain attention, albeit short-spanned. As a result, young children tend to recognise numbers, alphabets and sometimes words at a faster pace through television viewing as compared to formal education, besides broadening their vocabulary.

Furthermore, watching television may enable viewers to adapt social skills to be applied in everyday life. For instance, certain programs may provide scope for discussions as a family on problem solving, while enhancing critical thinking skills. Programs aired on television are also generally good conversation starters (Sharif 1999). Even though indirectly, television programs like news items may also increase social responsibility awareness among viewers by keeping them informed on global problems (Sharif 1999) ‘ranging from globalisation to homelessness’ (Leigh 2001, pp.24-25).

Yet another positive consequence of devoting valuable time to the idiot box is the ability to de-stress and unwind with ease. Contrary to popular believe, the television does not necessarily distract the viewer from duties. From a different perspective, taking a break in front of the television can actually relax the viewer’s mind in order to concentrate on pending things like homework (Rutherford 2002). This is especially true ‘after a hard day at work or at school’ (Rutherford 2002, p.14). After a short respite, they will be able to see the wider, better picture of any problematic situation. As such, it would be unfair for critics of television to focus merely on the distraction the television provides (Rutherford 2002).

In short, watching television is not entirely a waste of time, since it can be used as a teaching aid, besides improving social skills and promoting a stress free lifestyle. The few adverse consequences it carries are only due to the viewing of inappropriate programs for long periods of time (Sharif 1999). Hence, I firmly believe that television viewing, regardless of whether it is excessive or moderate, does have positive effects on its viewers.

Maybe it was meant to be...

2010-05-17T19:31:00.000+10:00

Realise how sometimes you end up in situations you never dreamt of, but now it's part of what normal means to you?

This, here, now is normal to me. I struggled with the idea a bit, but now I am all settled in and comfortable and suddenly I realise that this isn't here to stay. Very soon I will be stranded again. And I will have to struggle for normalcy again.

The two week semester break (for AUP students) made me realise that I am not always going to have things my way. If I can't handle their absence when my sweet, sweet SAM friends are here to bug, how will I survive overseas??

It's scary to go through it yet again. Yes, AGAIN. First my school friends, who I knew since the first day of Primary 1. They come into my life, and we were inseparable ever since. Up to Jan 2009, that is. I will never be able to understand how we got this far apart. We have known each other for 11 years. Some even longer than that. We are more than friends. We are family. Or maybe I should say were. =(

Then PKTR. I know I shouldn't compare two weeks to 11 years, but the pain of separation is the same. Those two weeks felt like a lifetime. And I miss them so much. Thank God for Facebook. But it's not enough. Especially on lonely nights when I am browsing through pictures or the little brown Sime Darby book. =(

Now, college. It was officially emo season for me for the previous two weeks. The seniors just left and then my whole floor AND my two besties had to abandon me. I felt so miserable. And lonely, and depressed. But I don't understand. I go to class with such sweet, hyper people who don't mind being bugged, and who also bug back once in awhile, but still I feel so alone. I only know them for around 10 months, and I don't spend half the time with them that I spend with classmates. And the seniors? Much, much less than that. But I miss them all the same. If you didn't realise, I was in a pathetic state that time.

I don't want to go through it again. I don't want to add more people to my miss list. I don't want to look at your profile page and pictures when I miss you. I want things to forever be this way. But that's not possible. And spending time together and laughing over nothing somehow reminds me of the fact that some day, these happy memories are going to make me sad. =(

Where's that leaf??!!

2010-05-14T01:59:00.000+10:00

I have a few official statements to make:

1. I have a room mate!!! =)

2. Renu, you're kicked out of my room. And I want my mug back. =P

Yippeeeeee!!!! Finally, I get to experience proper hostel life. A room mate. Still can't digest the fact. (Although she's sleeping soundly next to me right now)

From what I've observed from the past 2 days, her presence is going to turn me into a better version of myself.

Exhibit A: I woke up this morning at the first ring of my phone alarm. Normally I snooze it,like a hundred times. But today I was more concerned that it would annoy her. I mean, my alarm tone is a hyper Hindi song(that you definitely don't want to hear first thing in the morning).

Exhibit B: Last night, she came back tired after orientation and fell asleep around 11 something. So, when I got back after group discussion (for Accounts assignment la...) I didn't stay online very long. Also due to the fact that I don't want the tap-tap of the keyboards to wake her. End results? For once, I was early to bed and early to rise (disclaimer: early as in my own terms =P).

Exhibit C: I put away my stuff after using them, no longer leave it lying on the bed until after I get back from class. The sharing of space has also forced me to be a little tidier in order to maximise space, especially on the study table.

Exhibit D: I also try to be as sweet and as polite and as supportive as possible (Ermm, dunno whether it's working or not la. But I'm trying =P)

Maybe I am turning over a new(er) leaf =)

Of spec maths and economics

2010-05-13T00:47:00.000+10:00

Remember that 5 hour test we had on Specialist Maths?? Well, I could have put those 5 hours to much better use on today's Economics test.

Mr Yee, you are sooo unpredictable. Every test is a test of not only Economics but also of time management and alertness and of course, whether or not you pay attention to his late night sms-es.

And yes Sir, I did read up on exchange rates. Somehow, it didn't make a difference.=.=

And Spec Maths!!! Do I really have to say it out?? Aren't you all whining and whimpering at the thought of that test we had?? Did I mention that we will have to face the results soon? Haisssshhhh...

Argumentative essay final version

2010-05-12T15:40:00.000+10:00

‘Junk food’, a commonly used colloquial word, refers to generally unhealthy snack foods with little or no nutritional value (Smith 2005). This class of foods is currently under public scrutiny for being the underlying cause of various health problems among school children, coupled with the fact that 18% of Australian students never participate in organised physical activity (Tran 2005). Hence, parents and professionals across the country are calling for a ban on the sale of junk food in schools, as “more than 50% of Australian school children buy all their lunches from school canteens” (Tran 2005, p.6). Junk food is, after all, affecting the physical and mental wellbeing of school children, and as such, banning it in school canteens would be most appropriate in today’s context.

The most direct negative effect of consuming junk food is an unhealthy diet. This is due to the fact that junk food generally contains large amounts of fats and sugar. When wrong proportions of fats are consumed from childhood, the child is exposed to higher risks of further health complications like childhood obesity. Childhood obesity, can lead to future cases of heart disease, osteoarthritis and certain types of cancers (Tran 2005). As for the high sugar content of junk food, for example soft drinks, children may experience dental problems if consumption is not controlled. This opinion is shared by dental experts everywhere, including the Dental Association of Australia (2005).

Furthermore, behavioural problems in children can be traced back to the substances that make junk food so popular among them in the first place. Chemical additives in junk food have been shown to cause hyperactivity and poor concentration among school children (Smith 2005). Students of Hillview Primary School stand testimony to this fact, as teachers there have noticed a significant improvement in students’ behaviour in class after junk food was removed from their school canteen (Green 2005). Caputo (2005), a child psychologist, also agrees that taking junk food out of children’s diets may improve their behaviour. In addition, junk food indirectly leads to litter problems in school (Green 2005). At such a young age, it is important for children that they learn good habits and litter contradicts these values. Hence, junk food not only causes health problems but psychological problems as well.

From another perspective, selling junk food in school canteens may give children the wrong message about nutrition. The very concept of junk food contradicts the lessons on healthy diets and proper nutrition that are taught in school. Introducing healthier alternatives to the canteen, on the other hand, will reinforce the messages these lessons are trying to put across to the children (Reynolds 2005). Besides, if junk food is readily available to school children, they may get the idea that junk food is part of a normal, balanced diet. A ban would indeed be helpful in tackling such issues.

In a nutshell, it is important to stress to children that junk food is harmful when consumed excessively, and it is best that this is done from a young age. As children spend a substantial amount of time in school, it is only logical that school canteens be made a medium to spread this idea. Hence, I strongly believe that banning the sale of junk food in school canteens is indeed necessary and appropriate.

ME!!!!!!!! (According to Facebook)

2010-05-12T13:28:00.000+10:00

I just took a quiz on facebook, about what my birthday says about me. And these are my results. My comments are in purple.

Outgoing
Fun to be with. (Really?? *float, float*)

Secretive (True. I may not be what I seem like. I let you know only what is necessary).

Difficult to fathom and to be understood.(Duh. That's because I am so secretive la...=.=)

Quiet unless excited or tensed. (correction: Quiet unless high on coffee or sugar)

Takes pride in oneself (Isn't that obvious?? I love me and I think you should too =D).

Has reputation.

Easily consoled.(One word: icecream. Actually, is icecream one word or two??)

Honest.

Concerned about people's feelings ( Very. I feel SOOO uncomfortable around ppl who aren't feeling like themselves).

Tactful.

Friendly.

Approachable.

Emotional temperamental and unpredict...able. (Absolutely true!!! I can't even predict myself!!)

Moody and easily hurt (OMG, my mood swings!!! Ask my sis n she'll tell you how moody I am). Witty and sparkly (Ermm.. sparkly??).

Not revengeful.

Forgiving but never forgets (Yup. May treat you ok, but never really trust you anymore).

Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things (R u crazy??!! I am full of nonsensical and unnecessary stuff!! =P).

Guides others physically and mentally.

Sensitive and forms impressions carefully(Yeah. I don't believe in first impressions. I think I have a blog entry about that...).

Caring and loving. (*cough, cough*)

Treats others equally.

Strong sense of sympathy (I play superpoke pets dutifully because i don't want my pet to have that pathetic face...)

Wary and sharp.

Judges people through observations. (I pay attention to details, and can spend hours trying to interpret them)

Hardworking. (What rubbish??!!)

No difficulties in studying (Oh, studying is VERY VERY hard... But I must admit, my results are NOT proportional to my effort =P)

I need you =(

2010-05-12T13:16:00.000+10:00

Maybe being around you isn't exactly good for me. Maybe we get wild sometimes, bordering on the line. But we always manage to get back just in time to remind myself I am an Indian girl, supposedly orthodox.

Maybe we piss each other off sometimes. Sometimes you don't get what I am trying to say and you make up your mind that I am something I am not. And I get so frustrated at trying to explain that I finally give up and let you accumulate all these wrong impressions of me. But we always manage to put those misconceptions aside to laugh over nothingness.

Maybe you overshadow me. Hide my potential. Make me look snobbish because you're too social. Make me look hesitant because you're too willing. But in some ways, being off the social spotlight is a good thing for me.

The point is, we may not be a perfect fit, but I need you. I need you so that I can work at being me. I need you so that I can be assured that things are going to be okay no matter how it may seem. Especially now.

Argumentative essay draft 2

2010-05-11T17:17:00.000+10:00

‘Junk food’, a commonly used colloquial word, refers to generally unhealthy snack foods with little or no nutritional value. This class of foods is currently under public scrutiny for being the underlying cause of various health problems among school children. Hence, parents and professionals across the country are calling for a ban on the sale of junk food in schools. Junk food is, after all, affecting the physical and mental wellbeing of school children, and as such, banning it in school canteens would be most appropriate in today’s context.

Furthermore, the very substance that makes junk food so popular among children is causing them behavioural problems. Chemical additives in junk food have been shown to cause hyperactivity and poor concentration among school children (Smith 2005). Students of Hillview Primary School stand testimony to this fact, as teachers there have noticed a significant improvement in students’ behaviour in class after junk food was removed from their school canteen (Green 2005). Caputo (2005), a child psychologist, also agrees that taking junk food out of children’s diets may improve their behaviour. In addition, junk food indirectly leads to litter problems in school (Green 2005). At such a young age, it is important for children that they learn good habits and litter contradicts these values. Hence, junk food not only causes health problems but psychological problems as well.

In a nutshell, it is important to stress to children that junk food is harmful when consumed excessively, and it is best that this is done from a young age. As children spend a substantial amount of time in school, it is only logical that school canteens be made a medium to spread this idea. Hence, banning the sale of junk food in school canteens is indeed necessary and appropriate.

Good old Convent =)

2010-05-06T12:30:00.000+10:00

I was reading Farah's post on how things were simple back in school, and I was 'inspired' to write this.

School was awesome!!!! Back then, everyone kept telling me that high school years are the best and you will miss them a lot when you move on to college. I thought it won't be such a big deal. I mean, no uniforms!! What could be better than that right?? Wrong.

Every morning I open my cupboard and wish I could just slip on my white blouse and pleated skirt. Even keeping warm was simple. Just slip on my blazer. Now I've got sweaters for Ts and a scarf for tops. Choices, choices. =.=

Walking to class. Need I say more?? My school was probably the area of Block B alone. Serious. To think of that I used to complain about walking to the Prefect room from class. =.=

Lecturers. I can't differentiate them from staff!!! I mean, I know my lecturers, but I ONLY know my lecturers. And I don't like it. In school, you walked into the staff room and chatted with every teacher there before you manage to enter the Principal's office. Then you come out and chat some more on the way out. Miss the casual feel of school.=(

Friends!!! I know them since Primary 1 (not joking), know their parents since somewhere around there, know some of their extended family too. We could follow each other on family trips, sleep over to 'study', prepare for competitions, debates, even important events.

Any formal events?

Of course we're dressing up together.

Whose place?

Well, whose is nearer to the venue?

Oh, ten of you coming? What you guys wanna eat?I'll inform my mum.

Ah, those days...

I could walk into any of their houses and make myself at home immediately. We even play host tot their visitors, answer their calls, you get the idea. And here?

Oh, hi(ermm... what's her name, again??)

And events!!! Oh, the glory of being a prefect... Everything had our touch, from MC script to colour code, to stage deco, up to timing. If something big is coming up, all the teachers excused us from class for us to prepare. After all, the school's image is on our shoulders. And afterwards,teachers kept telling us how proud they were that we pulled it off. And here? I buy tickets outside the MPH entrance. =.=

And one more thing. The tiles in the academic block piss me off!!!!!!! It's such a waste of money. Convent is semi-government or 'bantuan modal'. We have to work our butt off for fund raising. The government only gives us money for things they find appropriate, and even then, it's mostly less than 50%. Imagine how I feel that they are wasting money on the floor, for crying out loud!!! The floor!!

Oh, guess what?? I have no say on this. Coz I'm not in school anymore... T.T

The long-awaited, missing-in-action piece of Aussie news...

2010-05-05T00:00:00.001+10:00

Hehe =P Sorry Ms.Dil...

Father of Armani Dirani told by Education Department her death was fate

By Larissa Cummings
From:The Daily Telegraph
May 04, 2010 5:38PM

Armani Dirani with her mother Dalal. Source: The Daily Telegraph

TWO days after eight-year-old Armani Dirani drowned on a school excursion, the NSW Department of Education told her father the tragedy was "fate and destiny," a court has heard.

In a civil hearing for damages against the NSW Government and the Blue Mountains City Council following the death of his little girl at Glenbrook Swimming Pool on December 15, 2006, Raja Dirani said the phone call from the DET staffer, named "Mona," left him feeling devastated and angry.

"She asked do I believe in fate and destiny and then she said, 'what happened to your daughter was fate and destiny,"' Mr Dirani said.

"If this doesn't make any father or mother angry, I don't know what does."

Both the DET and the council admitted liability and a settlement was reached late this afternoon.

Earlier, Mr Dirani was overcome while giving evidence and sobbed in the witness stand.He said he can no longer concentrate, has nightmares and finds himself conjuring imaginary scenarios about his three sons whenever they are away from him.

The court heard he received some psychological treatment, including an assessment by a doctor put forward by the DET early last year.

"I didn't understand how they can scrutinise me and want to evaluate me," he said.

"They want to put my feelings on a scale and weigh them. You want to measure me? I say how dare you."

The experience made him lose his faith in humanity, he said.

"What sort of person does this?" he said.

"I want to put this in perspective so others can understand...If you cut down every tree in the world and made the wood into little pencils and then used the ocean as ink and the sky as paper, it wouldn't suffice to anybody to say what she meant to us or how we felt about her.

"And you want to take me to a doctor and put my feelings on a piece of paper. It's insulting."

Mr Dirani said he rejected the health plans offered by numerous psychologists because no doctor could cure him of the pain and loss he felt over his daughter.

"There's no medicine for this. What's this medicine going to do? Help me forget?" he said.

An inquest into Armani's death in 2008 heard the second-grader, who could not swim, drowned at an end of year "celebration day" for 220 students at Cambridge Gardens Public School.

She was under the supervision of 15 teachers, four teachers' aides and four lifeguards, some of whom were staffing the pool canteen at the time.

There was some confusion over the little girl's permission slip, which had circled that she could swim 20m in a different pen to the signature of her father, who said he would never have told the school she could swim.

In a Statement of Claim filed in the District Court, Mr Dirani said he suffered nervous shock and depression after Armani's death and was unable to return to work for two years.

It is understood he was claiming loss of income amounting to around $70,000 between December 2006 and February 2009.

Judge Christopher Robison expressed the court's sympathy to the Dirani family before adjourning the case until Thursday for final orders.

Outside court, Mr Dirani said the settlement made little difference to his family's happiness.

"No parent would consider this a satisfactory result," he said.

My comments: Isn't this ridiculous??!! 15 teachers, four teachers' aides and four lifeguards, and no one saw a girl drowning??!! Fate my foot. Someone messed up big time and doesn't want to owe up. Period.

BTN was fun!!!!!!!

2010-05-03T04:54:00.001+10:00

I wrote this on the 3rd day, during 'Moral' time I think. Warning: Not censored. =P

I was getting my nerve cells all worked up for nothing. BTN is NOT equal to racism. The idiots who came up with that generalisation must have either been unlucky to get racist speakers, or were just too sensitive.

All 4 external speakers already gave their talks and I don't find any of them racist. The fourth one was stepping on the borderline, but never really crossed it.

And one more thing; being Indian is actually kind of a privilege here. The trainers chat with me to make sure I am okay with the food and they recognise me super-easily. They occasionally get me confused with the other Indian girl (Thangges), but she wears specs, so I am alright.

One thing I don't like about BTN is the gender segregation. Girls on one side, guys on the other. It feels awkward, but who cares? I still go over to the guy's side when we don't have any sessions.

The campsite's the coolest =). The trees, tons of moths (of different species), wonderful breeze, clear sky at night to wath the stars and chirping sounds (of birds + insects) 24/7.

Karee and I went for a stroll yesterday and I just wish Renu and Inthu were here. They would have fallen in love with it.

However =(, I haven't been a very 'outstanding' student. Haven't made much new friends from Intec. So far, it's only my roommates and the other Indian girl. I should channel my hyperness out more. Oh, and this girl Fena and I are acquaintances because we were partners in the fitness test. (P.S. I am 40 yrs old =P)

We're supposed to get groups tonight, so I'm hoping to meet more people and blow them over with my charisma =P

P.S. In desperate need of coffee =P

Who am I??

2010-04-26T12:56:00.001+10:00

I feel like I'll be leaving civilization behind =(

No offence to anyone, but somehow, today, I am very conscious about my race. Never felt so Indian before. And not in a good way.

I think of myself as 95 % Malaysian, and yet I am worried about racism. I suddenly have new found respect for my Ayyah (grandpa) and Apetha(grandma), who came here in their teens, and stayed to make a family. Wonder how hard it would have been to raise their kids in a foreign land.

Come to think of it, the only connection my grandfather had with India was the endless letters he wrote, not to forget his first wife which Apetha brought to Malaysia after finding out =.=

And my Apetha, never spoke of India as her home. As far as she was concerned, she was Malaysian. Her kids were Malaysian through and through. I mean, we are only Chettiars (our caste) in the way we call our grandparents, and some traditions, that's it. My mum's not even Chettiar. Inter-caste marriages in their generation is almost taboo in India.

Even my maternal grandparents were from different castes. But they didn't have to care about such customs, they were Malaysian after all.

Then, why, after three generations, do I feel so Indian?? *in deep thought*