The Malaysian feminist gets a voice

Here's to a year of change and empowerment as an Alumni Yayasan Tun Razak ExCo member.

The ones who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones that do.

வேலை இல்லா பட்டதாரி

I'm currently spending all my time keeping the house and myself looking acceptable. 

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.” Albert Camus

Sydney

“You get a strange feeling when you're about to leave a place, I told him, like you'll not only miss the people you love but you'll miss the person you are now at this time and this place, because you'll never be this way ever again.”

― Azar Nafisi, Reading Lolita in Tehran

Wanting to make a difference

I would really appreciate the chance to make a difference. But good intentions are not enough. On one hand the government has few vacancies relevant to me, a long wait before I get a job (if I even get it, that is) and a lot of protocol and hierarchy and a culture that doesn't heed the opinions of someone of a lower position/age. On the other hand are issues I feel so strongly about and that dull ache in my heart pushing me to do something about it. Just something. ANYTHING.

"I should like to be able to love my country and still love justice." -Albert Camus

Ruby slippers

Settle abroad. 

The work culture is much better.

You will have better opportunities there.

You really should get a PR while you can.

Malaysia will never change. Go overseas.

Why are you coming back?

You will regret it later.

Your kids will be better off.

Give me one good reason how Malaysia is the better choice.

Why should I have to defend my desire to stay in the country where I was born and brought up? Why do I have to come up with a rational reason for loving my country? Why are people (random strangers included) so bent on convincing me that there is no hope in Malaysia? 

You can write me a 10 page essay on the benefits of moving to Sydney, and I may take your word for it and uproot my  life and move abroad. But one lazy Sunday morning, I will wake up and crave nasi lemak from a road side stall in Sitiawan, and I will regret it. And I'm not willing to take that chance for now. 

There's no place like home. 

I am a feminist.

Sexual harassment bothers me. Even in the mildest forms, it bothers me deeply. You know why? Because I can't do anything about it. Trust me I've tried. I have been trying for years. But there is really very little you can do about it. 

My pondering, reading and conversations about this issue only magnified the problem. I was now facing a bigger monster: Sexism. And guess what? I can't do anything about it. 

And so, I have decided to channel my years of frustration and dreams of change into a title. I am now a feminist. Always have been actually, but now I will begin calling myself a feminist. 

I have always had strong opinions about feminism, but never before have I been so scared. Scared for my safety and future. Scared for the kind of world I will be raising children in. Scared that I will grow old with the words "If only.." gnawing away at the back of my mind. 

So a few days ago, I put my thoughts into action, and my feminism ball has started rolling. And I hope that I will make a difference. I hope you will too. 

Karna

Her eyes. Draupadi's eyes haunt me. I should have stepped in. I should have said something. I could have saved her from her humiliation in the court today. I don't understand how the elders of the court  stood silent and upheld their textbook dharma when a woman's honour was at stake. Even her husbands did nothing to protect her! 

They say Draupadi was granted five husbands because in her past life she asked Lord Shiva for five qualities in her husband, and no one man possessed all five. I wonder what useless qualities she asked for. As apparently none of them were of any use to her today!

Read the rest of the post in its new home here: https://vijeya.wordpress.com/2014/05/29/karna/